Yeezus - Like I flat out didn't like it. I can't even like Bound 2 that much because it felt so out of place on that disjointed album.
Blue Jays - Like I was thinking playoffs in their first year with these new players but I was expecting at least a fight. That 11 game winning streak in June isn't that impressive when you go 8 - 19 after it's broken.
Spring Breakers - Disappointed that I payed for it and disappointed that it didn't even attempt to be a movie. Wouldn't even consider watching it from start to finish, I'll just search the memorable scenes on YouTube.
Aaron Hernandez - No one saw this coming. He was suppose to leap frog Gronk and Tony Gonzalez as the best TE in the NFL next season. Boy did he fuck that up, like everything. I know there's the whole guilty until proven innocent but there's TOO much evidence that said he did it. And those friends of his will flip on him in a minute. Another thing that's disappointing his how the NFL and NCAA are handling it by removing any and everything with his name on it. How can take down someone's stats on your site NFL.com? How you gonna remove him from your games EA? And after complaints from visitors they removed an autograph picture of him in the Pro Football Hall of fame? Was that before or after they went past the OJ Simpsons Bills and 49ers jerseys? Lets no go there with whose clean and who isn't in the Hall of Fame. It's ridiculous how the NFL and NCAA have dealt with this whole thing. God forbid Hernandez is acquitted and found innocent of all charges.
Rap - Remember when rap used to scare and intimidate people? Me neither, nowadays they're apologizing for every lyric that isn't positive. Rape, aggressive sex and autism all have to be sworn off before some group is raising their flags at a genre they don't care for.
Emmys - Really the three men from Modern Family who were Al Bundy get nominated again? While Nick Miller, Ron Swanson, Jamie Lannister are left off? C'mon now.
Dom Kennedy - It's almost August and there is still no project yet from Dom. Why the long wait Dom?!
Mac Miller - Disappointed I no longer dislike him. Watching Movies was a damn good project, his verse on Ariana Grande's I Like The Way is perfect and his producer persona of Larry Fishman has come out with some of the best production I've heard all year.
People on Facebook - They still have no chill and they're trolling backwards, using their real name. Watch what happens when I see him on the street, no jock nod, no dap, I'm flat out asking: The fuck is wrong with you?
ABC - They messed around with my Happy Endings and got it cancelled. Meanwhile, a show about aliens that moved into the neighbourhood is still on the air. In 2013.
July - Not a damn thing sporting wise worth watching. No I'm not watching baseball.
Big Brother 15 - So much bigotry from people being watched 24/7. Like there's no way this many people can say such vile things to each other and let it slide. You gotta throw hands or at least yell or cause a commotion if someone says such racist things behind your back. And they're BEING WATCHED 24/7 and some of them are denying they ever said anything racist! Two of you bitches already got fired from your job! Oh if they stick around long enough to the point where they do the family interviews, the family and friends will be deflecting the producers questions on how they were raised like Spartans holding their shields up with the arrows rained down.
Kofi Kingston - Still no push, still stuck in the mid card, still has no pectoral muscles.
Florida - Sooo many news links I could attach and ya know, the whole Stand Your Ground thing and Zimmerman thing.
Agents of SHIELD - Sheesh this show is mediocre, not bad but not very good.
Macklemore - The fact that he's a thing is disappointing. Yeah yeah, Same Love, I cringe every time I hear the piano of Can't Hold Us and it's hard to avoid now since every commercial for a movie has it as the back-in music. Have you ever seen Macklemore perform live? I can never hear him, ever. Not during his SNL performance and not during his MTV Movie Awards performance. No way I caught the two times he performed and the audio was bad, no way. Yes, I've heard Wing$. It was corny then as it is corny now. Oh and that haircut, Jesus. I saw Lawless with Tom Hardy and Shia Lebeouf on The Movie Network in maybe June and I swear, a week after that everyone had that Prohibition haircut. I call it that because Jimmy from Boardwalk Empire had the same cut. And if someone tries to tell me "This is real hip-hop..." I'mma just leave the room.
MTV's Teen Wolf - This Teen Wolf isn't scoring 40 points and doing 360 dunks from the free throw line? Nah I don't condone this Teen Wolf show. They Twilighted him, it's basically a Jacob spinoff.
Myself - Thought I'd be writing for money by now, nope. Still doing it for free.
White people - Paula Deen, Miley Cyrus, Megyn Kelly the Fox analyst who wanted people to know that Santa was white, Rob Ford, Eminem, Dan Snyder, Bauuer for making New Yorkers mad because of the Harlem shake, the people at A&E who back paddled and reinstated the Duck Dynasty family member Phil Robertson back on the show (I assume there's not one person of color in those A&E offices).
The discovery and embarrassment of Twerking - Christ almighty, that fact I can't search "twerk" on Twtter without seeing bare struggle cakes
tryna move because of Lil Bitch Cyrus. The fact that this video exists and this makes me nauseous. Have to clear my browser in case the NSA is watching.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Thoughts on Instagram Video
When I first heard the news that Instagram will have video, my first thought was: this is a bad idea. Instagram is already a formidable and favourable app that does what it needs to do, take pretty pictures and has a selection of filters to make it more pretty. The anti-Instagram users already think it's a hipster device and think the current users aren't that equipped in photography to make a regular photo have a vintage feel. It's not that the video function is bad (I don't have Instagram but I creep) it's the thought of who will use it, is what makes it a bad idea.
Those folks that take pictures of themselves constantly (selfies), the ones that take pictures of food, the ones that take pictures of scenery, the ones that take pictures of newly bought clothes/jewelry/shoes etc. They are the ones that are going to be using this. According to Mashable, Instagram video will have a time limited to 15 seconds, support 13 custom filters just for video, users can edit and remove frames of the footage and choose a cover photo for their videos. Everyone thinks this will kill Vine in a matter of days with the amount of people that jumped ship but I still think Vine will win.
Vine is better than Instagram video because there's people know how to use Vine in a quick and amazing fashion that works in this day of people with ADD. And these are everyday people using it, which is the best part. Vine really started to pick up steam in the first week of June and you could find some of the best ones ranging from funny to hilarious to voice-overs to twerking (a lot of twerking). Now not all of them are perfect (especially twerking) but they have the idea and want to be apart of the phone. The creativity is immense and you gotta have great timing to use Vine. You have 6 seconds to entertain, that's a real small window but an easy one: a set-up and punchline or a bait and switch joke. Add 9 seconds to that, do you think people who use Instagram and don't understand Vine can use this? The same people who have in their first row of pictures, three selfies and two pictures of food? I don't think they'll be jumping ship that quick.
In my personal opinion - that's why it's my blog and my thoughts - Vine has a better surviving power than Instagram Video. Vine can team up with a long list of sponsors and studios that can use it. Teaming with movie studios for anticipated new movies teasers, video game companies to reveal new games or characters to popular games ie. Super Smah Bros for Wii U, there's party events, Broadway shows, restaurants for new dishes, the list goes on. Anything that delivers a quick and easy message that the audience can understand. 15 seconds too long for everyday people to use and too short for a promo for Batman: The Animated Series. Unless someone goes the short short film route using the filters to make noir films, old westerns and foreign films, then maybe there some lasting power. But they'll be going that vintage route that everyone is tired of right? Or am I wrong?
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Anderson Silva Dreams He's On Brazil's National Team
The other night while watching the Anderson Silva documentary Anderson Silva: Like Water that followed him on his journey to his UFC 117 fight against the talking trash bag Chael Sonnen, I thought back to the first time I saw him fight and it was seven years ago on Ultimate Fight Night 5 against middleweight tough guy Chris Leben.
The UFC was still "new" at that time and Leben came out of the very first Ultimate Fighter and he was a tough S.O.B. who wasn't afraid to get hit in the face. The only fighters I knew of came from UF, so when I see this skinny Brazilian enter the cage I didn't have much thought that this guy would become one of the most dominant fighters in fighting history. His strikes were clean, he evaded everything Leben threw at him and all it took was a knee to his grill and it was a wrap.
Silva most recently appeared in a Vivo commercial for everyone that dreams of being on the Brazilian National Soccer Team. Silva dreams he's apart of the team but with more rear naked chokes, jump kicks and referee intimidation. But even though that would make soccer a lot more interesting, he ends up ruining the game and making everyone want to kill him. Leading him to sell shrimp on the beach for a living. It'll make much more sense once you watch the commercial.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Summer Viewing: 6 Show Suggestions To Watch This Summer
Summertime. Bright sun, warm weather, girls in bikinis, time at the cottage, summer anthems and marathon binges of shows you missed out on. Now there are shows returning this summer but nothing notable until late June/early July (True Blood on June 16th, Under the Dome on June 24th, The Newsroom on July 14th), these are just recommendations for you to watch and hopefully you find something you love and you can tell your friends, family members, co-workers, significant other or significant side chick/dude. So here's a list of newer shows/in their first few seasons that may not be as recognized as others. Remember these are suggestions that I've either watched or heard good things about, I won't steer you wrong. And I'm not one of those people yammering on about Game of Thrones.
Spartacus: The Entire Series (4 seasons, 39 episodes)
Now when this first premiered, even before that when it was renewed before an episode even aired, the general synopsis was tits, blood, gore and more tits. Then a few episodes in they decided to focus on the story. In the first season, the season Spartacus wasn't exactly Spartacus yet. A Thracian warrior is betrayed by his Roman "allies" and forced into slavery seperating him from his wife, where he leads his brethren and others in a rebellion against their oppressors. Throughout the series, the fighting just gets better and better. Unbelievable slow motion dismemberments and decapitations of body parts. CGI blood everywhere. Steamy sex scenes. Historical costumes. And yes, it's Ancient Greece so there's some male on male action. Just look at the corner of the screen if you're uncomfortable.
When actor Andy Whitfield dealt with a more serious battle with cancer (he later passed), they made a 6 episode prequel season, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena that introduced the former champion of the arena, the Zack Morris of the coliseum, Gannicus. Outside of the battle Gannicus had his left hand on that jug of wine, right hand on that pu... you get the idea. The story is intriguing, adding layers of depth, intertwining fictional and historical facts, you find yourself emotionally attached to characters by accident. After Andy passed (Liam McIntyre becoming his replacement), they continued on with season two, Spartacus: Vengeance and season three, Spartacus: War of the Damned, ending so damn climatic. You should've seen me during that last episode amped outta my mind! I HIGHLY recommend it. And you get to see Xena naked. And ladies, there's a lot of shirtless guys, a lot.
Raising Hope (3 Seasons, 66 episodes)
Silly, goofy, cute, charming and occasionally funny is the best way to describe Raising Hope. I mean the silliness begins in the synopsis: Jimmy Chance is a clueless 25-year-old who impregnates a serial killer during a one-night-stand. After the mother is sentenced to death and electrocuted, Jimmy earns custody and relies on his wacky family to raise the child. I think everyone needs goofiness in their programming and Raising Hope, is more silly than stupid and they deliver.
It does borderline on white trash but not fresh out of the trailer park more close to the fence past the murky creek that doubles as a kiddie pool. Showrunner Greg Garcia also created My Name Is Earl and Yes, Dear. I haven't met a soul who didn't enjoy Yes, Dear. He obviously knows how to write heartwarming and earnest tales from the lower lower lower middle class and it got renewed for it's fourth season.
Hannibal (1 season, 13 episodes)
Based on the Red Dragon novel, the drama follows FBI criminal profiler Will Graham and psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Mixing creepiness, tough suits and great acting, Hannibal looks like a show that's going to be around for awhile. Outside of the pilot, I haven't seen much but it definitely has a fan base and a buzz around it. AV Club hasn't given one episode anything less than a B. Hannibal was one of the first shows I thought of when conducting this list.
Southland (5 seasons, 44 episodes)
Think we all can go for a cop show. This cop show stars Regina King and Ben McKenzie (O.C. fans should recognize him), taking a look at the lives of LAPD officers. For some reason when it comes to shows or movies depicting the LAPD, it's always described as "raw and gritty". But when you have great camerawork like in this scene, I see why.
Bob's Burgers (3 seasons, 45 episodes)
There aren't too many popular animated shows out that's doesn't have Seth MacFarlane attached to it. Everybody (still) watches Family Guy, American Dad is probable the best out of the lot and Cleveland Show is (still) on the air. The best animated shows out are Archer, Adventure Time and Bob's Burgers. It also helps H Jon Benjamin is on both Archer, Bob's Burgers and did voicework for Family Guy.
I've caught it a few times when there's no football to be watched and every time, I find my sides hurting from laughter. The show is really good, the kids are all insane and the parents, Bob and Linda have a Homer and Marge type of relationship where you know they love each other but they're both aware of each other's faults. Oh and they love to make bad music so catchy and awesome. Especially Oil Spill, it's NOT subtle at all.
Peep Show (8 seasons, 48 episodes)
Now if you want to take a trip overseas to England, Peep Show follows flatmates Mark and Jeremy, also goes by Jez, living in South London from their point-of-view. The show is shot is from the characters point-of-view with the internal thoughts of Mark and Jeremy as voiceovers. They're idiots. I feel like sometimes you have to be as blunt as
possible and they're idiots. While Mark is an afficiendo of ancient history, he's a neurotic twat who falls head over heels
for anyone woman that bats an eyelash at him and most times fails. Jeremy is a wannabe musician who sees himself as a self
proclaimed rockstar and sex machine who constantly fails at music and refusing to get
a regular job.
Now since it's from the UK, some of the pop culture references might go over your head but if you're some what familiar with what's happening overseas you'll catch on. I tried telling someone about this show in the past and she wasn't that big of a fan, most likely she started from the beginning. With some shows it's not always a hit from the first episode or season, more on that later. When I discovered the show, I watched an episode from the third season, I had the thought process that if this show is as funny as they say it is I can jump right in the middle and be satisfied. And I was.
Going on for eight series, the punchline per ratio of this show equals that of only Happy Endings. With a strong supporting cast of characters, Peep Show is one of the funniest shows I've seen in years. Great cast, storylines on the levels of It's Always Sunny of offensiveness and absurdity, I highly recommend Peep Show for anyone whose a fan of British humour. Bonus: every episode is on YouTube.
Honorable Mentions:
Spaced. (2 seasons, 14 episodes) If you're a fan of Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, this English comedy stars Simon Pegg as one half of a pretend couple that's renting a room. With odes to Pulp Fiction, Star Wars and Tekken, this is a great short comedy to watch. The Tekken scene had me stitches for days.
Scandal. (2 season, 29 episodes) Don't think any black female would let me get away without mentioning Scandal. Ask any black female if they watch Scandal and they might go on a full 45 minute set why you should watch Scandal. As for as I know, it involves Kerry Washington, she's sleeping with the president (I think) and scandalous things happen. That's all I got, I don't know what else to say.
Don't Trust The B... in Apartment 23. (2 seasons, 26 episodes) I'm mad this got cancelled. It was a short run but it was a great run that got James Van der Beek a pay cheque. June who within a week loses her boyfriend, job and most of her sanity, moves in with Chloe whose known for being a bitch. But a fun bitch, so much fun. They got away with a lot, I mean a lot of dirty jokes for network television. And I miss Chloe just writing about this, here's a gif tribute of her.
Justified. (4 seasons, 52 episodes) Because it's really good? I mean, I wouldn't steer you wrong. I won't do that, if you've been reading this blog for awhile (or know me personally), you know I wouldn't suggest something to you that you wouldn't enjoy. I mean, was kinda right about Girls back in December. How was the second season? Not that great right? Not funny right? Yeah, I don't want to dislocate my shoulder by patting myself on the back but I'm right about some things sometimes.
Justified is good though, deputy US Marshall Raylan Givens enforces his brand of justice in Kentucky. Raylan is a suave S.O.B., swagger unseen since old westerns. Layered storylines, complex characters and great underappreciated acting. Do I have to say more because YouTube doesn't give me much outside of music tributes?
Now I wouldn't recommend a show to you that i don't believe in or think you'll stick around for after the first five episodes. That's why I didn't say The Mindy Project, it took half the season for the core cast to be put together. Mindy and Danny are the only ones that were fully established from the beginning, everyone else took their own sweet time. It's good but you have to wait half the season of a 24 episode season for it to find it's feet. Revolution, no. Homeland the first season, good. Second, meh. Veep. I tried y'all, I really did. Maybe you'll like it more, I hear good things but me personally, I didn't hate it, I just... I dunno.
Blind recommendation: The Americans. Covert Russian spies posing as a suburban couple during the Cold War.
Spartacus: The Entire Series (4 seasons, 39 episodes)
Now when this first premiered, even before that when it was renewed before an episode even aired, the general synopsis was tits, blood, gore and more tits. Then a few episodes in they decided to focus on the story. In the first season, the season Spartacus wasn't exactly Spartacus yet. A Thracian warrior is betrayed by his Roman "allies" and forced into slavery seperating him from his wife, where he leads his brethren and others in a rebellion against their oppressors. Throughout the series, the fighting just gets better and better. Unbelievable slow motion dismemberments and decapitations of body parts. CGI blood everywhere. Steamy sex scenes. Historical costumes. And yes, it's Ancient Greece so there's some male on male action. Just look at the corner of the screen if you're uncomfortable.
When actor Andy Whitfield dealt with a more serious battle with cancer (he later passed), they made a 6 episode prequel season, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena that introduced the former champion of the arena, the Zack Morris of the coliseum, Gannicus. Outside of the battle Gannicus had his left hand on that jug of wine, right hand on that pu... you get the idea. The story is intriguing, adding layers of depth, intertwining fictional and historical facts, you find yourself emotionally attached to characters by accident. After Andy passed (Liam McIntyre becoming his replacement), they continued on with season two, Spartacus: Vengeance and season three, Spartacus: War of the Damned, ending so damn climatic. You should've seen me during that last episode amped outta my mind! I HIGHLY recommend it. And you get to see Xena naked. And ladies, there's a lot of shirtless guys, a lot.
Raising Hope (3 Seasons, 66 episodes)
Silly, goofy, cute, charming and occasionally funny is the best way to describe Raising Hope. I mean the silliness begins in the synopsis: Jimmy Chance is a clueless 25-year-old who impregnates a serial killer during a one-night-stand. After the mother is sentenced to death and electrocuted, Jimmy earns custody and relies on his wacky family to raise the child. I think everyone needs goofiness in their programming and Raising Hope, is more silly than stupid and they deliver.
It does borderline on white trash but not fresh out of the trailer park more close to the fence past the murky creek that doubles as a kiddie pool. Showrunner Greg Garcia also created My Name Is Earl and Yes, Dear. I haven't met a soul who didn't enjoy Yes, Dear. He obviously knows how to write heartwarming and earnest tales from the lower lower lower middle class and it got renewed for it's fourth season.
Hannibal (1 season, 13 episodes)
Based on the Red Dragon novel, the drama follows FBI criminal profiler Will Graham and psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Mixing creepiness, tough suits and great acting, Hannibal looks like a show that's going to be around for awhile. Outside of the pilot, I haven't seen much but it definitely has a fan base and a buzz around it. AV Club hasn't given one episode anything less than a B. Hannibal was one of the first shows I thought of when conducting this list.
Southland (5 seasons, 44 episodes)
Think we all can go for a cop show. This cop show stars Regina King and Ben McKenzie (O.C. fans should recognize him), taking a look at the lives of LAPD officers. For some reason when it comes to shows or movies depicting the LAPD, it's always described as "raw and gritty". But when you have great camerawork like in this scene, I see why.
Bob's Burgers (3 seasons, 45 episodes)
There aren't too many popular animated shows out that's doesn't have Seth MacFarlane attached to it. Everybody (still) watches Family Guy, American Dad is probable the best out of the lot and Cleveland Show is (still) on the air. The best animated shows out are Archer, Adventure Time and Bob's Burgers. It also helps H Jon Benjamin is on both Archer, Bob's Burgers and did voicework for Family Guy.
I've caught it a few times when there's no football to be watched and every time, I find my sides hurting from laughter. The show is really good, the kids are all insane and the parents, Bob and Linda have a Homer and Marge type of relationship where you know they love each other but they're both aware of each other's faults. Oh and they love to make bad music so catchy and awesome. Especially Oil Spill, it's NOT subtle at all.
Peep Show (8 seasons, 48 episodes)
Now since it's from the UK, some of the pop culture references might go over your head but if you're some what familiar with what's happening overseas you'll catch on. I tried telling someone about this show in the past and she wasn't that big of a fan, most likely she started from the beginning. With some shows it's not always a hit from the first episode or season, more on that later. When I discovered the show, I watched an episode from the third season, I had the thought process that if this show is as funny as they say it is I can jump right in the middle and be satisfied. And I was.
Going on for eight series, the punchline per ratio of this show equals that of only Happy Endings. With a strong supporting cast of characters, Peep Show is one of the funniest shows I've seen in years. Great cast, storylines on the levels of It's Always Sunny of offensiveness and absurdity, I highly recommend Peep Show for anyone whose a fan of British humour. Bonus: every episode is on YouTube.
Honorable Mentions:
Spaced. (2 seasons, 14 episodes) If you're a fan of Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, this English comedy stars Simon Pegg as one half of a pretend couple that's renting a room. With odes to Pulp Fiction, Star Wars and Tekken, this is a great short comedy to watch. The Tekken scene had me stitches for days.
Scandal. (2 season, 29 episodes) Don't think any black female would let me get away without mentioning Scandal. Ask any black female if they watch Scandal and they might go on a full 45 minute set why you should watch Scandal. As for as I know, it involves Kerry Washington, she's sleeping with the president (I think) and scandalous things happen. That's all I got, I don't know what else to say.
Don't Trust The B... in Apartment 23. (2 seasons, 26 episodes) I'm mad this got cancelled. It was a short run but it was a great run that got James Van der Beek a pay cheque. June who within a week loses her boyfriend, job and most of her sanity, moves in with Chloe whose known for being a bitch. But a fun bitch, so much fun. They got away with a lot, I mean a lot of dirty jokes for network television. And I miss Chloe just writing about this, here's a gif tribute of her.
Justified. (4 seasons, 52 episodes) Because it's really good? I mean, I wouldn't steer you wrong. I won't do that, if you've been reading this blog for awhile (or know me personally), you know I wouldn't suggest something to you that you wouldn't enjoy. I mean, was kinda right about Girls back in December. How was the second season? Not that great right? Not funny right? Yeah, I don't want to dislocate my shoulder by patting myself on the back but I'm right about some things sometimes.
Justified is good though, deputy US Marshall Raylan Givens enforces his brand of justice in Kentucky. Raylan is a suave S.O.B., swagger unseen since old westerns. Layered storylines, complex characters and great underappreciated acting. Do I have to say more because YouTube doesn't give me much outside of music tributes?
Now I wouldn't recommend a show to you that i don't believe in or think you'll stick around for after the first five episodes. That's why I didn't say The Mindy Project, it took half the season for the core cast to be put together. Mindy and Danny are the only ones that were fully established from the beginning, everyone else took their own sweet time. It's good but you have to wait half the season of a 24 episode season for it to find it's feet. Revolution, no. Homeland the first season, good. Second, meh. Veep. I tried y'all, I really did. Maybe you'll like it more, I hear good things but me personally, I didn't hate it, I just... I dunno.
Blind recommendation: The Americans. Covert Russian spies posing as a suburban couple during the Cold War.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Most Insecure Girlfriend Song of All Time
Riskay's Smell Yo Dick. You know when you're girl thinks you're creepin' on the low? If she asks if she can smell your dick. Because I think all men know is that there is a distinct smell to one's junk when they've had sex and if your girl swallows (like a good girlfriend should) she's quite aware of the smell too. She becomes suspicious if you're coming late at night, not answering your phone/not texting back etc.
Instead of doing the logical thing like asking their boyfriend bluntly if they're cheating or following him around in the shadows in different disguises, they ask to smell his dick. And it makes sense, never said it was smart, but it's clear there's some issues within the relationship that need to be taken care of. Communication is key for a successful relationship but I don't want to get involved in those relations questions. Next thing you know talks of $200 dates, sharing passwords and sucking on toes or eating... I'll stop. Best part is the rap from the boyfriend.
BONUS: Over at Funny or Die, comedy duo Nancy & Beth (Stephanie Hunt and Megan Mullally) perform the song live at the Largo Theatre back in February featuring Mullally's break dancing husband, Nick Offerman taking care of the rapping portion of the boyfriend. They are honestly the best couple out there today, no objections, no questions about it.
Monday, May 27, 2013
A Look Back at The Fight: Zack vs. Slater
Possibly the greatest, most shocking thing that happen on network television in the 90's had nothing to do with politics or a championship game but a fight. Not even the OJ Simpson/White Bronco police chase can measure, not Bill Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", not even Magic Johnson announcing his retirement due to HIV. It was on September 12th, 1992. Zack Morris and A.C. Slater land fists upon each other. The episode was simply titled, The Fight.
Editor's Note: I'm writing most of this off of memory. When it comes to TV episodes I love, my memory is really really good. It was also a bitch just to find a working link until I found one the other morning of this being posted.
Let's get the B side story out of the way first. Lisa is attracted to a guy, turns out he's a freshman which is so faux paus. A senior going out with a freshman will have everyone talking about it because in the 90's you can't date anyone younger than you. Lisa ends up going to dance with him, some life lesson and he's never seen again. And something about Mr. Belding trying to look younger so he wears a mullet wig.
Now let's carve into this meat of an A story. A new girl whose name I choose not to look up let's call her, Victoria Justice. I learned a long time ago sometimes the females from the 90's don't age well, here's exhibit A, your honour. Anyways, Victoria Justice is minding her own business at her locker when unbeknownst to her, the kang of dirty mackin' is already on the prowl: Zack Morris.
You can go back to any episode of SBTB when Zack wasn't smanging Kelly and see some of the dirty macking tactics Zack would show. Taking different girls TO THE SAME MOVIE just so he can handpick one to make Kelly jealous, dating a homeless girl from the mall because he was sympathetic to the poor, using subliminal messages to brainwash girls and there's loads more. Zack makes an impression and puts her on his smang list, meanwhile when he's "late" for class, Slater meets Justice and they hit it off.
Slater, the realest G in all of Bayside, had his priorities straight from the beginning: he wrestled, he liked girls and occasionally showed off his dance moves. He kept the forever irritating Jessie in line too, simply by referring to her as "mama." This scene from season one demonstrates what A.C. Slater is all about. Throughout his tenure at Bayside, he delivered lines like a pro, in this episode Slater says: Hey babe sorry, there's so much Slater to go around. There's so much purple swag in that line and let's not even start with the shirt.
Now Slater may have been the realest in the halls of Bayside but he was the biggest cockblocker too. In that first season, he took ever chance he got to break up Zack and that hoe Kelly. She bust it wide up for Jeff, her manager at the Max and the college professor in college, she was hoeing and you ain't even know it. Slater's cockblocking tactics returned in this episode when those two great minds realized the chick they're both talking about laying down pipe work on is the same girl. Usher and R.Kelly had a similar dilemma a decade later.
So when Preppy and Jheri Curl both plan to sit by Justice, the revelation that it's the same girl. In class, their teacher gives them extra homework because that happens in schools on television. Never once in my life I heard a teacher giving extra homework to one student or more students, ever. Zack offers to help her study at his house because of his red beanbag chair and holiday sweaters in September. Slater offers going to the movies the next day. Damn Slater. That dumb jock stereotype is real with you. Victoria Justice accepts both offers. While at Zack's house studying, Slater's cockblocking instincts chime in by paying his debt to Zack from a "bet" by vacuuming his room. Ya see, they can't study with all that noise from the vacuum. Slater and his Lanny Poffo genius intellect. Oh and he used a leaf blower. But A.C. can't out due a dirty mack. Dirty mack knows all the tricks, left, right, inside and out. During Slater's movie date, Zack pays some actress to play Slater's mom and gets Screech to play an usher in the movie theatre to play along. Ya see, Slater's c-blocking (I feel like I've typed the word cock too much already) was free like his cut off hoodie, Zack's cost money to scheme. That's grade A c-blocking.
Now, the climax. I'll just let this dialogue speak for itself, I'll chime in here and there. Slater enters the scene by coming down the stairs like a raging bull. Zack is at his locker.
Now, it's an obvious advantage from the start. Slater is on the wrestling team. He gave Valley's Marvin Nedick a perfect German suplex, kicked down doors in just a towel in that earthquake episode and he was the quarterback for the football team so the man knows how to take a hit. Zack now, besides being a runner and being on the basketball team he hasn't done much else that shows athleticism plus he has fragile knees. Now I'm not gonna give a good ol' JR type commentary but I'll give you my best e-fed commentary I can, it's been awhile.
This was groundbreaking. Like this was the first time two of America's favourite TV teenagers have ever gone toe to toe. After some awful storytelling by Belding, he makes them shake hands or else they'll be suspended. Timeout, you really think he'd suspend these two teens when he's constantly getting involved in their daily lives? FOH. You would think both of these young gawds would go back to their corners and dwell upon the consequences they both went through. Nope. They went right back to the mission, Justice. She's spooked by the season regular warriors, so she denies both of their advances.
At the senior kickoff party (a what?), Zack comes in with a swollen lip denouncing any thought of his foe (Kelly: Zack I'm glad you're here, is Slater coming too? Zack: Slater who?). Slater comes in later (I hate that I wrote that) with a black eye wanting to be no where near the blond gawd of dirty macking. When the young gawds are thirsty, they must drink. The blond gawd of Cali meets the Mullet from Hawaii at the punch bowl. I have no idea why I'm speaking like I'm writing for Spartacus there. They meet at the punch bowl, fight over the punch bowl ladel and Slater just delivers a line that is still epic to this day.
Slater: Let go SON before I make you wear it.
Bruh! Slater was saying "son" how son is used today, son. But the ending is goofy and 90's, they pour Kool-Aid over each other, Belding's wig gets in the bowl and Slater and Zack speak like six year olds (Look Preppy you're all wet!) and dap it up forgiving each other. This was a quite revolutionary event that happened 21 years ago and it made me realize that a girl can really get in the way of the two bestest of friends. This is when the lyrics of a young poet came to life to me, Girls In The World Ain't Nothin' But Trouble. The freshest of all princes was correct.
A link to relive this episode: http://www.watch-tvseries.net/series133/Saved-by-the-Bell/season-04-episode-01-The-Fight
Editor's Note: I'm writing most of this off of memory. When it comes to TV episodes I love, my memory is really really good. It was also a bitch just to find a working link until I found one the other morning of this being posted.
Let's get the B side story out of the way first. Lisa is attracted to a guy, turns out he's a freshman which is so faux paus. A senior going out with a freshman will have everyone talking about it because in the 90's you can't date anyone younger than you. Lisa ends up going to dance with him, some life lesson and he's never seen again. And something about Mr. Belding trying to look younger so he wears a mullet wig.
Now let's carve into this meat of an A story. A new girl whose name I choose not to look up let's call her, Victoria Justice. I learned a long time ago sometimes the females from the 90's don't age well, here's exhibit A, your honour. Anyways, Victoria Justice is minding her own business at her locker when unbeknownst to her, the kang of dirty mackin' is already on the prowl: Zack Morris.
You can go back to any episode of SBTB when Zack wasn't smanging Kelly and see some of the dirty macking tactics Zack would show. Taking different girls TO THE SAME MOVIE just so he can handpick one to make Kelly jealous, dating a homeless girl from the mall because he was sympathetic to the poor, using subliminal messages to brainwash girls and there's loads more. Zack makes an impression and puts her on his smang list, meanwhile when he's "late" for class, Slater meets Justice and they hit it off.
Slater, the realest G in all of Bayside, had his priorities straight from the beginning: he wrestled, he liked girls and occasionally showed off his dance moves. He kept the forever irritating Jessie in line too, simply by referring to her as "mama." This scene from season one demonstrates what A.C. Slater is all about. Throughout his tenure at Bayside, he delivered lines like a pro, in this episode Slater says: Hey babe sorry, there's so much Slater to go around. There's so much purple swag in that line and let's not even start with the shirt.
Now Slater may have been the realest in the halls of Bayside but he was the biggest cockblocker too. In that first season, he took ever chance he got to break up Zack and that hoe Kelly. She bust it wide up for Jeff, her manager at the Max and the college professor in college, she was hoeing and you ain't even know it. Slater's cockblocking tactics returned in this episode when those two great minds realized the chick they're both talking about laying down pipe work on is the same girl. Usher and R.Kelly had a similar dilemma a decade later.
So when Preppy and Jheri Curl both plan to sit by Justice, the revelation that it's the same girl. In class, their teacher gives them extra homework because that happens in schools on television. Never once in my life I heard a teacher giving extra homework to one student or more students, ever. Zack offers to help her study at his house because of his red beanbag chair and holiday sweaters in September. Slater offers going to the movies the next day. Damn Slater. That dumb jock stereotype is real with you. Victoria Justice accepts both offers. While at Zack's house studying, Slater's cockblocking instincts chime in by paying his debt to Zack from a "bet" by vacuuming his room. Ya see, they can't study with all that noise from the vacuum. Slater and his Lanny Poffo genius intellect. Oh and he used a leaf blower. But A.C. can't out due a dirty mack. Dirty mack knows all the tricks, left, right, inside and out. During Slater's movie date, Zack pays some actress to play Slater's mom and gets Screech to play an usher in the movie theatre to play along. Ya see, Slater's c-blocking (I feel like I've typed the word cock too much already) was free like his cut off hoodie, Zack's cost money to scheme. That's grade A c-blocking.
Now, the climax. I'll just let this dialogue speak for itself, I'll chime in here and there. Slater enters the scene by coming down the stairs like a raging bull. Zack is at his locker.
Slater: Hey Zack, last night at the movies you went to far.
Zack: Just helped a mother get together with her son what's so wrong about that?
Slater: Wrecking my date with Joanna wasn't funny. (Still prefer Victoria Justice)
Zack: (closes locker) Oh, like it was funny wrecking my study date the night before?
Slater: Hey, you started it by making me look like a jerk at The Max.
Zack: Well that's what you are. (crowd woos) (Crowd wooing in the 90's television was a big thing)
Slater: What did you say?
Zack: You heard me, now get out of my face. (Zack had his hands on his hips then dropped them once he told Slater the business)
Slater: And what if I don't, PUNK? (Slater said punk with an intent of fisticuffs)
Zack: Well I just have to make you, PUNK. (Zack pushes Slater with one hand)
Now, it's an obvious advantage from the start. Slater is on the wrestling team. He gave Valley's Marvin Nedick a perfect German suplex, kicked down doors in just a towel in that earthquake episode and he was the quarterback for the football team so the man knows how to take a hit. Zack now, besides being a runner and being on the basketball team he hasn't done much else that shows athleticism plus he has fragile knees. Now I'm not gonna give a good ol' JR type commentary but I'll give you my best e-fed commentary I can, it's been awhile.
After a double shove push by Slater, Zack gives Slater a right. Unfazed, Slater quickly grapples Zack tossing him to the floor as the student body looks on. As Zack recovers to get off the floor, Slater delivers a right hook that sends Zack back down. As they wrestle, the crowd grows and the bellows of their female peers to stop the fight reigns. The fight is broken up by Principal Belding.
This was groundbreaking. Like this was the first time two of America's favourite TV teenagers have ever gone toe to toe. After some awful storytelling by Belding, he makes them shake hands or else they'll be suspended. Timeout, you really think he'd suspend these two teens when he's constantly getting involved in their daily lives? FOH. You would think both of these young gawds would go back to their corners and dwell upon the consequences they both went through. Nope. They went right back to the mission, Justice. She's spooked by the season regular warriors, so she denies both of their advances.
At the senior kickoff party (a what?), Zack comes in with a swollen lip denouncing any thought of his foe (Kelly: Zack I'm glad you're here, is Slater coming too? Zack: Slater who?). Slater comes in later (I hate that I wrote that) with a black eye wanting to be no where near the blond gawd of dirty macking. When the young gawds are thirsty, they must drink. The blond gawd of Cali meets the Mullet from Hawaii at the punch bowl. I have no idea why I'm speaking like I'm writing for Spartacus there. They meet at the punch bowl, fight over the punch bowl ladel and Slater just delivers a line that is still epic to this day.
Slater: Let go SON before I make you wear it.
Bruh! Slater was saying "son" how son is used today, son. But the ending is goofy and 90's, they pour Kool-Aid over each other, Belding's wig gets in the bowl and Slater and Zack speak like six year olds (Look Preppy you're all wet!) and dap it up forgiving each other. This was a quite revolutionary event that happened 21 years ago and it made me realize that a girl can really get in the way of the two bestest of friends. This is when the lyrics of a young poet came to life to me, Girls In The World Ain't Nothin' But Trouble. The freshest of all princes was correct.
A link to relive this episode: http://www.watch-tvseries.net/series133/Saved-by-the-Bell/season-04-episode-01-The-Fight
Saturday, May 18, 2013
List: Ranking The Fast & Furious Series
With the up-and-coming addition to the Fast and Furious series on May 24th, let's look back at the series that made car fanatics everywhere rejoice. Fast and Furious centers around car racing and avoiding being caught by the law and getting lots of money while doing it, thus the car racing skill comes in handy. That's pretty much sums up the series, I haven't watched the extended trailer for the recent one yet but I'm pretty sure it's more car racing skills used to avoid people for a large amount of money. This is what I got from the commercials that are airing now: Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) needs Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian's (Paul Walker) help even though he chased them around Rio in the the fifth installment and there's a tank and Dom drives through the nose of a plane and Tyrese yelling. Yeah that's all I got. TO THE RANKING!!
5. Fast & Furious
I honestly don't remember alot from this one except it that this sets up what the rest of the series is going to look like if they decide to make more. I didn't really enjoy this one, not really memorable and it's last because I'm pretty sure everyone else just remembered this movie as "the one where everyone returns and go to Mexico for something". And Brian goes on the run with Dom, Pug Rodriguez dies and that's about it.
4. Tokyo Drift
The one that was a cash grab with Dom showing up at the end that had Bow Wow in it.
This wasn't a terrible movie. This one introduced drifting, which is a driving technique where the driver intentionally oversteers, causing loss of traction in the rear wheels, while maintaining control from entry to exit of a corner. (Thanks Wikipedia!) It also introduced Han who is probably the best character that's been introduced that's not the original four. This was the last installment where street racing was still a main factor, after this it became about drugs and stealing and driving around the world, or something. And Han dies but returns for the next installment, thank God.
3. 2 Fast 2 Furious
The one where Tyrese's form of yell acting was introduced to the world.
Dom doesn't return for this one because he had to make the memorable A Man Apart where he grows a goatee. In this one, Brian O'Connor is on the run after letting Dom escape from the police, he ends up getting caught and has to team up with ex convict (of course) Tyrese (it's Roman but he's always Tyrese in every movie he does). They have to go undercover as street racers to help transport money for a drug lord. I remember it for being really colourful from the cars to the Miami setting to Eva Mendes. It also had one of the better soundtrack songs, "Act A Fool", that's still pretty good to this day but then again, why am I listening to Ludacris in 2013?
2. Fast Five
The one where everyone returns, again, with Dwayne Johnson.
This one was surprisingly good. Like I had little to no reason to pay this because let's be honest here, there isn't too many movies that can have four sequels and it's still good in quality. Harry Potter can't still be that great after those kids went through puberty can it? Much of the same plot from the previous ones: drugs, police, racing, money and Tyrese yelling. There's a whole lot of "Holy Shit!" moments in this one. From the beginning train heist scene, Dom vs. Hobbs, the chick from the fourth one in a bikini, the ambush scene and that bank vault destroying the streets of Brazil. It was a pretty damn good movie. It ending with them escaping, of course, which sets up the next one Fast 6, but at what point do you say: Okay, enough's enough. There's already another one in-store with Dwayne Johnson returning and people are still paying to see this. So after Fast 6 will you be lining up to see Fast 7 or Fast Figure 8 or Fast 9: Even More Horsepower or Fast 10: Yep We're Still Driving Around Causing Trouble?
1. The Fast and The Furious
The original one.
Fast & Furious is Point Break with cars. Brian O'Connor is an undercover cop who infiltrates the underground culture of street racing. He meets Dom, takes interest in his sister, street racing, the retarded kid gets shot, Asians and the race. The race that made the series, Dom vs. Brian in a drag race across the train tracks. It's first because I saw no faults with this one, no it wasn't the greatest movie but it set up one of the top selling movie franchises that has nothing to do with witches, vampires or super heroes.
Editor's Note: (Really me, cause no one else reads this but me) I'm lowkey disappointed that Paul Walker doesn't get more roles. I swear he doesn't in anything that's not gone straight-to-DVD. Bobby Z and Running Scared were great movies but went straight-to-DVD so they didn't get noticed. That's why I'm kinda glad he's going to be starring in Brick Mansions, which would be an awesome name. It's a remake of the french movie District B13, sure he's an undercover cop, again but it's a role that's doesn't involve car racing.
And Takers was a "so bad it's good" movie.
Friday, May 10, 2013
It's a Bear Eat Monkey World
In life, you're either a bear or a monkey. A bear, a predator of the wild known to be dangerous if approached. A monkey, a joyful creature that's said to be the missing link to humans. What happens when they're both on bicycles entertaining a small arena? Are you a monkey, the lovable creature seen in such movies as Ed and Every Which Way But Loose or are you a bear and your primal instincts tell you to hop off the damn bicycle and eat the monkey? In a video posted by Deadspin, a bear and two monkeys race around a track for a large audience in China. That's all you really need to know because the bear eats the monkey! It all comes down to what you're born to do. Sometimes you have to hop off the bike and do what you have to do to please yourself instead of pleasing others. Or something.
Now when are you going to eat the monkey? That sounds dirty but does everyone know the "other" meaning of monkey? I don't know what some people know and what others don't unless I bring it up. I'll keep it safe, when are you going to hop off the bike and do what you're born to do?
SN: What's more shocking, a bear eating a monkey or a bear riding a bicycle? You tell me. I'll wait.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Real Talk: Chael Sonnen
Chael Sonnen is lowkey trash.
I don't think there's been somebody so great at talking, hyping up an event where it's talked about on different media outlets who don't even cover the UFC and they end up falling on their face when it's time to show up. Remember when Nick Diaz was talking about selling wolf tickets during the lead up to his fight with GSP? Chael is a box office winner of selling wolf tickets. Chael isn't that good, he's a tad bit better than average. Yeah, he dominated Anderson Silva in their first fight. Get over it, that happened three years ago. Who won that fight again, oh yeah Silva. The only footage they used for the commercial leading up to this fight was from that fight. He hyped up that rematch with Silva after stepping over the lackluster opponents in that forever weak middleweight division and after attempted a pathetic spinning back fist, Silva ate his food.
I think people get easily blinded by someone's lack of achievements if they're good at the superficial things. Chael, Tim Tebow, Cassie. Chael is great at talking, Tebow has passion and Cassie is attractive. The blinding truth? Chael can't defend when caught in a submission (8 of his 12 losses are by submission). Tebow can't fundamentally be a starting quarterback. Cassie can't sing.
Do people try and bring said persons unimpressive resume because someone chooses to focus on the blinding facts? All the time. Skip Bayless has 100 reason why Tebow should be a starting quarterback for the fact that he has a winning record, completely ignoring his actually stats for these games. Cassie has one album and that's her debut back in 2006, she shaved half her head, which started a trend from the popular to the those craving for attention and started boning Diddy. She's appeared on red carpets, hosted events and appeared in ads but no music. Chael is probably the best trash talker in UFC history, he knows how to bring in the audiences for PPV buys. But Chael's caught so many L's. I haven't seen someone talk their way into so many main event ass whoopings. There's someone that's gonna bring up the "he was gonna save UFC 151 until Jones backdown like a bitch." I've already gone through this before in the past, so I don't really want to touch upon it but it was everyone's fault.
Chael has talked so much. So so so much. A lot of it racist. Let's not forget his comments on Brazilians when Silva-Sonnen II happened which caused the UFC to move the location, which originally was in Brazil. Did you miss when he was on SportsCenter this week and asked the black female interviewer if he could touch her hair? Yeah, that's kinda racist. He didn't have much to say about his white opponents like Brian Stann or Michael Bisping but thought he knew everything about Brazil based on his facts, from the internet. I like trash talk as much as the next guy but talking your way into two title fights back to back? Nah, b. Nah!
I don't understand how people love to bring up the mistakes of someone successful but cater to the frauds while ignoring their veil of lackluster achievements. Chael's a fraud, belee dat. There's fibs and there's frauds, a fib is a lie that makes you like the story better. When Jon Jones says: "Witness a man’s dream of becoming a champion be demolished." I believe him. He's beaten four former champions in a very impressive fashion at the young age of 25 and he's the current champion. A fraud is a story that's inauthentic based on little or nothing. Chael's beaten no one worth mentioning, yes he sure knows how to make interviews with Dan Le Betard and Michael Landsberg fun to watch but when you fail to back up this trash talk, I feel jilted. And when I find out you had "high levels of testosterone" after your title fight, I feel duped. And when I found out you plead guilty to money laundering, stealing money from people, I get angry.
So not only do I not care for you as a fighter, I don't care much for you as a person. A person who says race-baits to get people to tune into a fight, a felon and a cheat. You expect me to draw the currents on your lack of achivements to be entertained by your vocabulary, high intensity to bring in audiences and magnifying trash talk to watch you fail? Nah b. Nah!
(He was a pretty good coach on TUF, I'll admit that)
I don't think there's been somebody so great at talking, hyping up an event where it's talked about on different media outlets who don't even cover the UFC and they end up falling on their face when it's time to show up. Remember when Nick Diaz was talking about selling wolf tickets during the lead up to his fight with GSP? Chael is a box office winner of selling wolf tickets. Chael isn't that good, he's a tad bit better than average. Yeah, he dominated Anderson Silva in their first fight. Get over it, that happened three years ago. Who won that fight again, oh yeah Silva. The only footage they used for the commercial leading up to this fight was from that fight. He hyped up that rematch with Silva after stepping over the lackluster opponents in that forever weak middleweight division and after attempted a pathetic spinning back fist, Silva ate his food.
I think people get easily blinded by someone's lack of achievements if they're good at the superficial things. Chael, Tim Tebow, Cassie. Chael is great at talking, Tebow has passion and Cassie is attractive. The blinding truth? Chael can't defend when caught in a submission (8 of his 12 losses are by submission). Tebow can't fundamentally be a starting quarterback. Cassie can't sing.
Do people try and bring said persons unimpressive resume because someone chooses to focus on the blinding facts? All the time. Skip Bayless has 100 reason why Tebow should be a starting quarterback for the fact that he has a winning record, completely ignoring his actually stats for these games. Cassie has one album and that's her debut back in 2006, she shaved half her head, which started a trend from the popular to the those craving for attention and started boning Diddy. She's appeared on red carpets, hosted events and appeared in ads but no music. Chael is probably the best trash talker in UFC history, he knows how to bring in the audiences for PPV buys. But Chael's caught so many L's. I haven't seen someone talk their way into so many main event ass whoopings. There's someone that's gonna bring up the "he was gonna save UFC 151 until Jones backdown like a bitch." I've already gone through this before in the past, so I don't really want to touch upon it but it was everyone's fault.
Chael has talked so much. So so so much. A lot of it racist. Let's not forget his comments on Brazilians when Silva-Sonnen II happened which caused the UFC to move the location, which originally was in Brazil. Did you miss when he was on SportsCenter this week and asked the black female interviewer if he could touch her hair? Yeah, that's kinda racist. He didn't have much to say about his white opponents like Brian Stann or Michael Bisping but thought he knew everything about Brazil based on his facts, from the internet. I like trash talk as much as the next guy but talking your way into two title fights back to back? Nah, b. Nah!
I don't understand how people love to bring up the mistakes of someone successful but cater to the frauds while ignoring their veil of lackluster achievements. Chael's a fraud, belee dat. There's fibs and there's frauds, a fib is a lie that makes you like the story better. When Jon Jones says: "Witness a man’s dream of becoming a champion be demolished." I believe him. He's beaten four former champions in a very impressive fashion at the young age of 25 and he's the current champion. A fraud is a story that's inauthentic based on little or nothing. Chael's beaten no one worth mentioning, yes he sure knows how to make interviews with Dan Le Betard and Michael Landsberg fun to watch but when you fail to back up this trash talk, I feel jilted. And when I find out you had "high levels of testosterone" after your title fight, I feel duped. And when I found out you plead guilty to money laundering, stealing money from people, I get angry.
So not only do I not care for you as a fighter, I don't care much for you as a person. A person who says race-baits to get people to tune into a fight, a felon and a cheat. You expect me to draw the currents on your lack of achivements to be entertained by your vocabulary, high intensity to bring in audiences and magnifying trash talk to watch you fail? Nah b. Nah!
(He was a pretty good coach on TUF, I'll admit that)
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Thoughts on the Boston Bombing
First, I hope everyone pulls through and no more deaths occur during this time. What happened on Monday was tragic and terrible and I hope they find the person or persons responsible for this.
Now, let's get to the real reason why I'm writing this: You guys have no chill. It's been two days and already the conspiracy theorists are out and about, the terrible jokes have been chuckled at and the pictures of dismemberment has been shown about 30 times. It's Wednesday. And I'm not even talking about Twitter, I'm talking Facebook.
It's hard to believe but for me to say something stupid on Facebook is pretty easy. I have a general rule of thumb when it comes to posting anything on FB, 1) will it get my sister's attention where I'll have to hear about it at home, 2) don't say something stupid and 3) tone down on the cursing, I'll say shit but not bitch or any other curse words mainly because of rule 1.
The Boston bombing shows me people don't have any rules when it comes to posting anything FB, they just blurt out anything that will get them a reaction. Opened ended status: "Ugh! Why does this have to happen to me?", "I'm heartbroken right now", "Oh you wanna talk shit you bitch!" Just waiting for someone to answer: "You okay hun? Wanna talk about it?"
Posting about a tragedy happening in another country while a tragedy is currently happening in North America is super petty. Why SHOULD I care about the daily attacks that happen in a third world country, when something like someone planting bombs trying to blow off innocent people's kneecaps happen very rarely here? Boston is not too far from here, it's a day trip to get there. How long does it take to get to Islam? I bet money this isn't the top story on Al-jazeera TV over there. After breaking the news, this story comes on before they go to weather.
Don't feel high and mighty when everyone else is talking about a news breaking tragedy in North America and you want to bring up what's going on in a country that you don't care about. Whether or not it's your homeland, it's pretty fuckin' petty when you do that shit. Oh it's your birthday today? It was my birthday, 7 months ago too, oh well *Kanye shrug*. I think people feel some type of glory because nothing ever happens in Canada. No attack, no type of domestic terrorism, no tragedy, nothing! They feel like they're in an igloo. They see what's happening from their screens and feel nothing will happen to them because they're in this igloo of Canada and no one thinks any type of threat will come to or from someone in an igloo. Canadian STEREOTYPES!
I remember when Sandy Hook shooting happen, I was generally sad. I hated to see harm happen to babies, that was one of the rare times I texted peopled with younger siblings or family members and told them "hug your young one a little tighter tonight iight?" Within hours, there was skepticism on the validity of this story. I should have known better that within hours, the conspiracy theory posts were gonna happen. "What's that shadowy figure on the roof?"; "There's a teacher from the Sandy Hook shooting that was at the marathon!"; "Illuminati exposed!" Really?
And hey man, take no shade from this. I'm writing this as I was watching (really listened to) the Utah Jazz playoff dreams disappear. But umm, yeah few points if you wanna skip all that.
Peace
Now, let's get to the real reason why I'm writing this: You guys have no chill. It's been two days and already the conspiracy theorists are out and about, the terrible jokes have been chuckled at and the pictures of dismemberment has been shown about 30 times. It's Wednesday. And I'm not even talking about Twitter, I'm talking Facebook.
It's hard to believe but for me to say something stupid on Facebook is pretty easy. I have a general rule of thumb when it comes to posting anything on FB, 1) will it get my sister's attention where I'll have to hear about it at home, 2) don't say something stupid and 3) tone down on the cursing, I'll say shit but not bitch or any other curse words mainly because of rule 1.
The Boston bombing shows me people don't have any rules when it comes to posting anything FB, they just blurt out anything that will get them a reaction. Opened ended status: "Ugh! Why does this have to happen to me?", "I'm heartbroken right now", "Oh you wanna talk shit you bitch!" Just waiting for someone to answer: "You okay hun? Wanna talk about it?"
Posting about a tragedy happening in another country while a tragedy is currently happening in North America is super petty. Why SHOULD I care about the daily attacks that happen in a third world country, when something like someone planting bombs trying to blow off innocent people's kneecaps happen very rarely here? Boston is not too far from here, it's a day trip to get there. How long does it take to get to Islam? I bet money this isn't the top story on Al-jazeera TV over there. After breaking the news, this story comes on before they go to weather.
Don't feel high and mighty when everyone else is talking about a news breaking tragedy in North America and you want to bring up what's going on in a country that you don't care about. Whether or not it's your homeland, it's pretty fuckin' petty when you do that shit. Oh it's your birthday today? It was my birthday, 7 months ago too, oh well *Kanye shrug*. I think people feel some type of glory because nothing ever happens in Canada. No attack, no type of domestic terrorism, no tragedy, nothing! They feel like they're in an igloo. They see what's happening from their screens and feel nothing will happen to them because they're in this igloo of Canada and no one thinks any type of threat will come to or from someone in an igloo. Canadian STEREOTYPES!
I remember when Sandy Hook shooting happen, I was generally sad. I hated to see harm happen to babies, that was one of the rare times I texted peopled with younger siblings or family members and told them "hug your young one a little tighter tonight iight?" Within hours, there was skepticism on the validity of this story. I should have known better that within hours, the conspiracy theory posts were gonna happen. "What's that shadowy figure on the roof?"; "There's a teacher from the Sandy Hook shooting that was at the marathon!"; "Illuminati exposed!" Really?
And hey man, take no shade from this. I'm writing this as I was watching (really listened to) the Utah Jazz playoff dreams disappear. But umm, yeah few points if you wanna skip all that.
- Think before you press Post
- A little warning before you post that pic of someone without their limbs
- Don't overshadow tragedy with another tragedy and...
- Don't say something stupid
Peace
Sunday, April 7, 2013
The Sandlot Turns 20 Years Old
I don't really know when I first saw The Sandlot but I fell in love with it in my first viewing. It's one of those movies that any time you come across it on television, you have to stop and watch it. I should update that syndicated movies list now that I think of it. I think the main reason why it's such a memorable movie is because it felt real. There's a plethora of movies that came out in the 90's (my youth) but very few were set in the past (Sandlot was set in 1962). A lot of movies that came out in the 90's I wouldn't even attempt to watch nowadays. There was a lot of genre mixing, a lot of movies about involving kids given responsibilities at a young age (Blank Check, Little Big League), the use of animatronics and puppets that were flat out scary, kids getting lost (Babies too!), live action remakes of comic strips and cartoons, movies based on 2D video games (Mortal Kombat > everything else) and talking animals movies (if it isn't Homeward Bound, get it outta here).
Sandlot was about a bunch of kids having fun during the summer playing baseball. It felt real, it felt like something you once experienced yourself and said, yeah me and my friends did that too. Yeah, I tried to get the pretty girl's attention. Yeah, we came up with creative ways to call each other names. Yeah, we played baseball or another sport together and thought we were the pros. That's what being 12 was about. Just a bunch of kids who were trying to enjoy their summer with their friends. Isn't that what we all want, every summer? It's one of the best movies to watch during any time of the year but mainly summer. Now tell your little siblings/cousins or your own children to get off the laptop, iPad or Xbox and play outside! Games all have autosave functions implemented so there's no worries.
Sidenote: I can really quote his movie forever and a lifetime. Forever, for-ev-er...
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Happy Easter: Let's Remember Fluff E. the Hip-Hop Bunny
One of my the many shows that were way too vulgar and adult for me to watch when I was young including was the Comedy Network's Buzz. The Toronto based show was really guerrilla, hosts Daryn Jones and Mista Mo would hit the streets doing their brand of comedy to the unsuspected citizens of Toronto.
One of the staple characters was Fluff E. the Hip-Hop Bunny. Buzz regular Jean-Paul, Country Mo Dee's hypeman donning the costume, Fluff E. would walk about the streets of Toronto just causing havoc or talking straight filth to women. And since it's Easter, why not remind people of Fluff E. and Buzz. There's more Fluff E. but I just can't post it (blogger's YouTube connection does that sometimes). A simple YT search should take you to more Fluff E.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Nick Offerman Break Dances on Fallon
Parks and Recreation is the best comedy on television today, that's almost by default because ABC fucks around with the scheduling of Happy Endings too much. Nick Offerman, who plays Ron Swanson on P&R, is slowly becoming one of my favourite people because there's so many layers of mystery to this man that gets revealed with every interview he does. I can't wait till he reveals he's really a butterfly from a mystical world who likes scotch, smokes weed and can make a rowboat.
Another layer has been revealed late last night on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Nick used to break dance. His name was Tick Tock, along with his break dancing cousin, Flip Flop. It's quite clear that he hasn't lost any of his break dancing skill. Pop locking starts at the 2:40, bask in the glory that rivals the subway scene from Beat Street.
FYI, Happy Endings is probably going to get cancelled and the last episodes are on tonight on ABC. Even if you've never seen an episode, could you please DVR it or leave the TV on ABC at 8:00? If you're going clubbing, you're not leaving until 10:00 so you have no excuse accept you want to hurt my feelings. This show needs all the ratings it can get, the last ditch effort to save it starts at 8 pm EST tonight.
Please watch.
Friday, February 1, 2013
The Pitch For An Axe Fight In Bullet To The Head
INT. BOARDROOM WITH NOTHING BUT EMPTY CANS OF REDBULL ACROSS THE FLOOR WITH POSTERS OF A LAMBORGHINI DIABLO ON THE WALL. BROSEF IS SITTING AT HIS LAPTOP READING JOSE CANSECO'S TWITTER PAGE. TONY BROMO WALKS IN.
TONY BROMO: Bro, I was thinking about a new fight scene for Bullet To The Head.
BROSEF: Talking to me brother.
BROMO FLIPS THE CHAIR BACKWARDS AND SITS, WHILE SIPPING HIS REDBULL.
BROMO: There should be an axe fight. I'm talking something out of Game of Thrones. Just old school Sly going mono e mono with Conan.
BROSEF: Sounds awesome. What's Game of Thrones?
BROMO: The HBO show based on the books by George R.R. Martin's epic tale of the war between different families in medival-like times trying to hold ground of Westeros.
BROSEF: Nah, don't read books. Threw out my Lance Armstrong books after that Oprah interview.
BROMO: Anyways, there should be an axe fight between Rambo and Conan. Like vikings. Think of this as our tribute to the eternal bro, Johnny Drama. He was forever known for his Viking Quest show, I mean we only saw him in the costume. Let's do this for Drama.
BROSEF: Sounds legit put it in.
BROSEF & BROMO IN UNISON: Victory!
BROSEF CRUSHES RED BULL, STEPS OVER TWO GIRLS MAKING OUT ON THE FLOOR AND SNORTS A LINE OF COCAINE BEFORE EXITING.
I've seen a lot of ridiculous things in action movies, especially straight to DVD action films and
Bollywood movies but to have an axe fight. In a warehouse. In a 2013. That's just f*ckin'
stupid. Axes are short, like airplane arm rest short. So that fact that these huge* muscular guys
are warranted to have a serious fight with short sticks with a hunk of metal at the end of it is laughable. Check the this short clip featuring Sylvester's new face and Jason Momoa.
* -- The biggest shock I found out was that Sly was only 5'9. I knew Van Damme was short but Sly too? Everything is a lie.
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