I Used To Have NERF Dreams

All I ever wanted as an adolescent was a NERF gun.

I was pulled in by the excited faces of the preteens.  The joy in their eye as they shot each stream of water, ball, foam dart, plastic disc out of their NERF gun, I wanted it.  Desired it.  I did have one of the small footballs.  But with my moms objection to guns in the house, I was never blessed with one.

Throughout the years, I've always adorn watching  the commercials.  They've made it more up-to-date, making everything more "dark/edgy" and less "rad".  They've moved away from the open fields, seamlessly clean empty warehouses and kids dressed like Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter to a futuristic military setting with teens dressed like they're sponsored by Under Armour and with a new line of guns, N-Strike Elite.

Nothing stays the something, we all grow up, the leaves turn, people change, people outgrow things, Carrot Top stays ripped, of course they were going to re-brand NERF into something more cool for younger generations to get into so they're parents would fork out money for their child to have fun.  It's expected.  What I liked when I was 10, I probably - most definitely - won't like when I'm 24 but I still have a thing for NERF.  That's why for Christmas, I'm buying myself a NERF gun.  I always wanted one, my mom could careless what type of artillery I bring in the household and I can afford one.

A NERF gun shall be mine come the 25th.

Sidenote:  One thing I very surprised at is why there was never any TV program created to sell NERF toys.  Power Rangers was made to sell toys, Captain Power sold interactive toys, then the toy companies just made series to sell toys: Barbie, My Little Pony, Hot Wheels, Transformers, the list goes on.  

You're telling me there couldn't be a 30 minute TV show about preteens in the summer competing in a NERF tournament, which includes an underdog team of misfits who just made qualified but one of their members comes down to an illness, so they recruit a shady mysterious kid who is surprisingly good with a NERF gun even though he told them his parents could never afford one so he never got to try one out, but they go far in the tournament, meeting their school rivals on the way there, meanwhile the rival's girlfriend starts falling for the TJ Detweiler/leader of this underdog team, making the rival much more jealous and angry and they end up meeting in the finals, that's being televised (because lol the dial-up internet in 1993) across America and when each member of the other team (presumably) is out, it comes down to the underdog TJ Detweiler and his rival, let's call him Sebastian because that sounds rich and douchy enough and they have a stand off like in the old westerns and each one fires at the count of three but the credits are rolling as they give small speeches to each other, so we never get to see who won the match because they left us hanging until the next season and then years later bastard writers would try and theorize ideas that that mysterious kid was really a psychopath because we never saw his parents throughout the show and he got real antsy when asked about them and when he said he doesn't know how to use a NERF gun when in fact he has used one because he killed his family and is a runaway from another city and childhood memories are ruined because it's the same person who wrote about that Rugrats theory that I choose not to mention/hyperlink because it's like saying Voldemort's name in the Harry Potter universe but you can't help but say fuck you internet for ruining the show for me but you still love it because it was a great program and a bought a bunch of toys based on the show.

I mean, it's just a thought.

Rob Ford: The Lawlz Are Over

(via National Post)

Editor's Note: Wrote this Tuesday and wasn't home to post this on Wednesday so I missed out on mentioning the forever trolling Iron Shiek calling out the mayor and the most recent footage that came out today.  


Mayor Rob Ford has admitted to smoking crack.  He was on one of his drunken stupors sometime last year he believes he smoked it.  The city of Toronto is now a talking point for news outlets, daytime talk television, late night TV and the butt of a lot of lame crack puns.  As someone who "had his back" through most of this, I want to say this:  I don't really care that much at this point because everyone else is laughing.  Care as in feel heartfelt or heartbroken that he admitted to smoking crack.  I am disappointed I can't laugh at him on purpose anymore.

Around three - four years ago I started reading the news, like actually reading it and keeping up-to-date on it.  And what has always caught my attention, was the scandals or tragedies.  The earthquake in Japan was one of the stories I really remember, I had the Huffington Post tab open at all times when that story broke.  I was just invested in it.  Since then the scandals and outrageous news headlines have always caught my eye, I'm sure if Olivia Pope was a real person I'd be reading on her on the daily until the news reporters decided to move on.  I've read about the Zumba instructor who was hoeing out of her studio in Maine, the Casey Anthony case, the Christopher Dorner story, Bob Filner the San Diego mayor who was making passes at any woman in a skirt no matter what age in the summer.  The scandals are just more exciting and more interesting then city planning or whose injured on Maple Leafs or what charity run is happening on the weekend in Toronto.  The same way your boyfriend likes the car crashes in NASCAR or the way your girlfriend tunes in every week to watch real housewives, I am the same about how sex, lies and drugs tie into a news story in a US state.  The more outrageous the better, that's why I follow Florida Man on Twitter.

Now, Rob Ford.  I loved me some Rob Ford, mainly because he was rotund, had the voice of a cartoon character and kept falling or walking into things like he was on the set of SNL.  That's the thing about Ford, he kept me entertained.  I was in it for the lawlz.  I didn't care if people liked him or not, I liked him.  Whether it was failing to lose weight in that cut weight challenge last year, walking into a cameraman, the inability to hike a football, messing up announcing Toronto is hosting the NBA All Star game, walking the streets drunk or beating Hulk Hogan in an arm wrestling match (if you know wrestling, you know Hogan ain't taking a dive for anyone).  But the laughs soon stopped once Gawker announce they're in contact with someone who says they have video of Ford smoking crack cocaine.

Now in this day and age, crack cocaine is a no-no.  It's always been a no-no but it's never been the drug for recreational use.  It's more for profit (listen to any New York rapper for an example).  Can you imagine, if it was marijuana he was smoking?  Could you imagine?  Most people would think he's a pretty good guy, I'm on social media quite a lot, I'm quite aware of the popularization of weed in the past few years.  There's a number of people who are pro-marijuana in this city, they would probable shrug at the thought of him smoking green.  But it's crack.  That's not cool.  The people are asking for him to resign and he's been evading the media for some time, until today.

(via National Post)

"Yes I have smoked crack cocaine."  

Listening to the interview where he admits to once, yes once, smoking crack he sounds defeated.  A man that has been caught and a man that is tired.  Tired of avoiding and ducking these accusations for a long time.  It's almost similar to when Bunny Colvin had to own up to his mistakes in The Wire.  It's no longer "look at the fat man stumble and fumble around this supposed crack video", it's "this man may have a problem".  Not a crack problem but maybe a drinking problem.  "On one of my drunken stupors", I don't mind a few drinks once in awhile but when you're in office, political office, you gotta control yourself.  I've never even heard of the word stupor until today.  We've already seen him walk home drunk, we don't really need him signing policies or bills while intoxicated.  Ford has to step back and see the bigger picture because the lawlz are over.

No one wants to bring up his approval rating, which was getting higher when word first broke out about the videotape.  He's drawn up plans for a better way to get home from Kennedy station instead of going through that loud Scarborough RT line and he's lowered property tax.  Nope, he's smoked crack says one person.  He's a crackhead says another.  He's fat, silly, does things that makes me laugh and occasionally does something good for the city.  But for now, whether or not he still has control after this week, he's just a political figure whose done crack.  Even if he did it once or if he's full time user, it doesn't make a difference.  

It's no longer fun.  The memes and the Chris Farley jokes have begun. The mystery and speculation is gone.  If the tape was actually him smoking weed or chewing peyote, the general reaction from people would've altered drastically.  There would be acceptance if he smoked weed, he'd be compared to Phil Jackson if it was peyote.  The possibilities!  But nope, he admitted to smoking crack out of a pipe, unless he did that wrong (even Marion Berry "didn't know" how to use it in that video).  Am I still entertained?  I did get a chuckle when he said "I didn't lie, you didn't ask the right question" and he did wear a NFL tie to the press conference.  He somehow finds a way to keep me chuckling through his worst moment in his tenure.

October 15, 2013...

I turned 24.  Just yesterday I thought about my time at 23 and it's definitely one of my more memorable years, for the plain fact I was aware of how old I was.  In the past I've never felt my age, 17 was a blur, 20 I was distracted by school but 23 I think I'll just remember for what happened at that age.

Mariah wore that jersey better than Mike

I failed, a lot.  Not by my own doings but I tried, a lot.  Getting jobs, keeping jobs, staying humble, being a better person and things didn't really go my way.  But again, I tried.  It was a down year chasing tail, like I didn't swore of women but shit I didn't even try in that department.  Too focused on money and on a good well being.  I really tried to live like rap lyrics "money on my mind, get money fuck bitches, $$$ > pussy" all that junk.  I didn't miss it necessarily (like I was getting any in the past) but it was a necessity.  23 was definitely a year of need > want.  I needed to work my butt off to show people what I had to offer and what I could do. I needed to take dirt jobs to keep myself out of the red.  I joked and said I stripped or sold my body to science just to keep the humor through the misery.  And love?  I stopped believing in that when Amy Duncan cheated on her husband who won the NBA championship four times.  I'll admit this, I've seen a lot folks downgrading.  Like I see some of these girls boyfriends and say to myself: "HIM?  That's the guy you're getting naked with?  You can do better."  Meanwhile, sitting on the pine, waiting for the call guys ie. the friendzone dudes are probably better human beings then whoever you have now.  And it's happening to guys too!  Guys are downgrading just to be with someone.  Because there's nothing else on the menu.  These chicks look like the girls scamming dudes on Catfish; the heavyweights, the "calling her cute, would be mean" kinda girls.  2013 chicks.  

Yeah I've been miserable but you know, that's what happens when you try and don't succeed.  So I'm more unfortunate.  Shit becomes scressful bruh. And it becomes scary, all this attempts falling flat, you look around and say like can a get catch one?  Just one?  The thing is not to show the misery, that's why I stay silent or talk about soft news.  That's why most of the blog post are about media/soft news, I don't want to talk about myself and what's going on.  It'll become boring, fairly quick.  But I did touch on a few things in the news, talk / tweet about things, current events that I shared an opinion and people seem to like it.  I assume, no one tells me shit.  Except around six people, five from the sole internship I got this year from the numerous emails I sent out on a daily.  One from someone I barely talked to in the past on a random Facebook message.  Lie, seven.  An old co-worker told me to keep up writing.

I think my writing has gotten better.  I'm writing this now starting at 11:35 and haven't stopped.  It's an exercise most writers do just to express themselves and let their creative juices flow.  It's kinda like running from point a to point b without stopping.  Just keep going, don't stop, don't erase, just keep writing down what's on your mind.  I would say I've written some really good stuff I think people overlooked.  I have a bigger audience on Facebook than I do Twitter but at the same time I shit on people on Facebook too much.  In fact a lot, mainly because they/you (depending on where you see this first) do/say stupid things.  I'm secretly judging them as I feel I'm being judged with each three line email I send out that gets passed over by these ad agencies.  We all judge each other, people want haters to judge them and they want to have a IDGAF attitude which is dumb.  Because you DO give a fuck, you wouldn't do certain things if a fuck wasn't given while doing it.  If you do things with that attitude and no one replies to it, do you continue to do it or does someone have acknowledge it for you to continue?  I mentioned some of this in the past and they were one of the most disappointing things this year.

I thought when I wrote about the Boston bombing it was the realist shit I ever wrote but I think this one might take the cake.  Even though everything I said in that one was from the heart, this one feels more authentic because I'm still typing as Sportscentre plays in the background.  People still have no chill and don' really think before they do things.  An Asian trainer who I'm pretty good friends with, made an event and referred to folks as niggas.  I didn't say anything but that shit ain't cool and I thought of all people, he would know better.  Friend of mine turned into a dominatrix and did some real questionable things for income, I love her as a friend but I'd be lying if I said I'm okay with it.  Had an attraction to her for awhile but after that 3 hour conversation we had that August afternoon, that attraction was gone as I walked back to hot dog stand at the corner.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tad bit jealous of my college colleagues.  The vacay pics, the dates to restaurants, the numerous shots from a Blue Jays game, the shots for conference but shit that's life.  In post- college life, some make it some don't.  I know some that gave up or just stopped being active.  I did have a tipping point about two weeks ago when I was sending out emails where I said: fuck it.  I deleted the three lines of predetermined gibberish I usually send to sound professional for the job and just spoke that realness.  I know these places / agencies hang on to the same writer for 5+ years, same person they see every day, wearing that same old shirt from Old Navy, who you hear the same stories from, that drink beer, listens to Stones, Tiesto and Lil Wayne and cheers for the Leafs or the Habs (you always meet a Habs fan).  That's why all these places look for someone with that much experience, juggling five accounts between two writers.  Freelance you say?  Shit, Indeed posts very little outside of resume writing, Vitamin T barely has any work in Toronto and interning three times makes you limit what you can/can't have in your book.  Yet they want 5 years exp?  Yeah, right.

I am not trying to be average.  There's no way I want to be average.  I'm trying to take that step into the highest of highs, no deluxe department but a better living.  I'm tired of struggling, memorizing what's in my bank account to know how much I can take out at the start of that week.  I want to eat steak two times a week, buy lunch everyday, go on a vacation and not feel like I went over budget when I get back.  Hell, I wanna get out of Toronto.  I wanna go somewhere, see things I haven't seen before, eat something different.  It's too much of the same everywhere I go.

Didn't see a lot of my friends this year which has to change.  one thing i always do with them is thank Thor that none of us have kids.  Kids are terrible to have before the age of 25.  There's no way someone said, I'm happy having this child in my second year of college.  Remember when folks were terrified, miserable and legit devastated when they found out they were going to be a mother/going to be a father?  What happen to those days?  I always remember a call I got from an old old friend cheering when he found out he wasn't the father to this chick.  Cheering!  I cheer every time I found out none of us have kids, one of them got engaged and I wish him the best, told none of us but he must be a lost one now.

I call him a lost one because he's moved on and when you move, you leave some things behind.  Only way I can get to where I want to is leaving people behind.  You have to, people change, priorities change and it's very rare that you'll have that same core of friends for more for a certain amount of years.  This isn't Boy Meets World or Saved By The Bell.  Even Lisa and Jessie left when college came.  I also learned at age 23, some traditions won't last.  For about five years, I used to sent a long birthday message to this one person and that's usually when we would rekindle and this year, it stopped.  They changed their number and resent a shorten version of it and it wasn't accepted the way I thought it did.  Those five years prior seemed lost.

Maybe I haven't figured it out yet.  There's always that group that make it and the group that doesn't, currently I'm speaking from that group that didn't make it.  I never asked for a hand out, never turned down advice.  But I'm sure I'm one of the few that are actively trying to get to the group, that group of success.  I just have to stay humble and stay active.  Maybe step on a few toes on my way there, it's similar to the road but it might turn into Burnout if things don't go accordingly.  Let's see if 24 is more memorable than 23.

Oh and don't HBD.  HBD is fucking lazy.  Just copy and paste what someone else said or don't say anything at all.

Midnight Releases; Is It Worth It?

*I wrote this the week of GTA V's release for a gaming site Portable Platypus but since it wasn't about a portable game it got denied.  Tried to submit it to another gaming site, got denied again.  So I kept it for myself and posted it here because I know it's a dope piece*


You must have a pretty clear schedule to dedicate an entire evening (or days) to wait in line to play a video game, where you are in a world doing what you could be doing in 12 hours at noon.  Legal things of course, not racketeering and driving recklessly not following any street laws.  And that's exactly what these dedicated fans did Tuesday morning because GTA V sold $800 million in 24 hours and later a billion copies in just 3 days beating Call of Duty Black Ops, which sold a billion in 15 days.

Staying up late, in the cold, to play a game with over 30 to 50 hours of gameplay.  Which doesn't even include the main story but side missions and the various distractions that take you away from the story.  Playing a tennis match, racing against other players, going to the strip club, it's almost like they want you not to finish the game but isn't that part of the plan?  When you discuss the game with your friends, I'm sure most will say they played a few missions then took part in some of the activities or tried to cause enough trouble where the SWAT teams are called in and you're avoid snipers above.

 For one thing, not everyone finishes a GTA game.  In a 2009 report based on Gamerscore achievements showing the percentage of gamers completing campaign of games out at the time.  Games like Halo and Call of Duty sit on top with 70-75% completion rates.  Meanwhile GTA IV is near the bottom with 27%, will that number rise with GTA V or go down with the amount of distractions there is in a GTA game?  With a low completion campaign percentage, I'm not sure why people would line up to instantly to play a game that most won't end up finishing.

It's not like a sports game or a first person shooter, where you're ranking up your players stats to be far superior to your online opponents, GTA is mostly story.  I know when I got my copy of NHL14, the first thing I dove into was the Create-A-Pro mode because in lamest terms, you're butt when you first start.  Everyone is bad and the only way to get better is by playing a lot of hockey.  That's why you need to get NHL 14 or any other sports game where playing, ranking up stats and winning games adds to having a better player than others online.  The highest selling sports game of all time is FIFA 13 and that only sold 4.5 million within it's first week, that's what GTA V sold in about 15 minutes.

But are gamers lining up for the game for it's story?  The gameplay?  Or do they just want to shoot casualities, take flying lessons, be in a police chases and smoke marijuana in their large mansions?  Yes, you can do that last one in this game.  With so many things to do in this massive game, it's bigger than San Andreas, GTA IV and Red Dead Redemption other Rockstar Games out together, maybe it's just the experience of doing it all.  Being the first one to be a part of this contingency of this open world and the many things it has to offer.   

 GTA has been instrumental in today's video games in various ways from with the open free roaming gameplay used and the controversy that comes with it.  Parent groups and political figures like Jack Thompson have a thing for stepping on the toes of gaming community by stating how violent and offensive the game is.  Yet, all that does is create the buzz, raises the exposure and the lines are formed infront of the GameStops, Best Buys and other retailers.  Controversy sells, enough to make a billion in under a week.

One Year Later

I originally started this blog just so I can practice my writing technique, find my voice and to get in a writing rhythm when one of the many advertising agencies I've emailed gets back to me.  Plus I had some ideas rumbling that I wanted to put down.  Has the blog been a success? I'd say so, I'm still using it.  Whether I'm telling a story, sharing my opinion on a popular topic, hearing a song then writing about it, suggesting what you should watch or making a list, I'm still forming my thoughts/ideas into pieces that I'll share and feel good about later.

Have I gotten better?  I want to say yes but no one has ever challenge anything I've written.  You can't call yourself the best in the world if you haven't been challenged.  It's a learning experience.  The worst that can happen is you fail and there's nothing wrong with failing.  You think you came out the womb walking and talking?  Nope, you crawled and fell a number of times trying to walk.  If you've been succeeding for so long and never failed at anything, I'd hate to see you when that day comes because I don't know if you're going to back up again.

“A key for me was to get reps. I needed to see things that I couldn’t see standing on the sidelines. That’s where guys like Tim Tebow are: We know he’s a work in progress, but the only way to get that progress is to find situations and to play.  I know you want to play in the NFL, but right now you need to find places to hone your craft. Whether that’s Canada, whether that’s the Arena League, whether that’s anywhere else, I would encourage him, whatever the opportunity is, to take advantage of it and go play as much football as you can." - Kurt Warner on Tim Tebow.

If you want to be great at something you dream of, you got to wet your feet somewhere before you go in the deep end.  I've written a few things here and there (some places I have beef with), done the internships and currently at a pitstop but I'm trying to make it back on that main road.  I haven't given up which I'm proud of the most.  But after awhile if you believe in yourself, you gotta tell it like it is to some folks.

Recently, Dave Chappelle told a story to Spin about a time Kanye West came to perform on Chappelle Show before he blew up to become Yeezus today.  It's a great story but the ending is the real kicker.  Chappelle shows Kanye some unaired unedited sketches including the Rick James sketch.  Kanye gets a call and this is how it goes....

He answers the phone, he goes, “Hello. Huh? What? Uh uh, I can’t. I can’t. Cause, I’m at Dave Chappelle’s show watching sketches that nobody’s ever seen before.”  And then he says, “Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t,” and then he hung up the phone.

I really think I need to tell these agency people the business.  I'm dope and we can do dope things together, hire me.  If not you're missing out on a dope writer that listens to better music than you, watches better television than you and is more dope than whoever you hire that's not me.  Yeah, I'm definitely gonna end each email with that.

Well, I just want to pat myself on the back ala Barry Horowitz, I made this blog a year ago today and still using it.  You should look around, I've written some dope things.  If I can tag the best ones, I'd simply tag them as: dropping_knowledge_without_coming_off_as_overly_self-righteous.  Now I'm going to look back and see how far I've come.  Thanks for reading what I've written, if you like something share it.

The Reality for Men: Where's The Shows For Us?

In my daily quest for employment and enjoyment, I've seen recent ads for a CTV show airing today on Labour Day.  To put it shortly, it's The View for Canada.  Yes, ANOTHER show where women talk about pop culture, health and general stories.

Now if you thinking I'm leaning this piece toward what I wrote about the up-and-coming Girl Meets World then you're right.  Because there's no show where men just sit down and shoot the shit.  Why can't men have this?  The only show catered to millennial men, which unfortunately doesn't air in Canada yet the female version does, is Guy Code.  It's not that hard to cater to men: beer, sports, punching things, shooting things, cops and sex.  But is that all that draws us in?

You're telling me men can't have a show in a Mallrats setting in Brodie's room?  Where he's comfortable in his underwear surrounded by video games, comic books and pictures of hot women so men can feel safe watching.  God forbid anything in the room is pink because there's still men out there that think pink = gay.

SpikeTV, the network for Men as their slogan once was, only airs shows for mainly places that need to be rescued.  In quick synopsis describing each show, this is Spike's line up: Tattoos, bars, cops, MMA, bad wrestling, bad tattoos, how to die, kicking out weird human beings from their homes and asking dumb people questions to get their cars back.

He legit has the weirdest hairstyle on Earth

E! Network where a majority of the audience is females and homosexuals, their shows seem to work gracefully.  Women hate and love the Kardashians, that explains their 19 spin-off shows.  They have about four shows about fashion, a profile show on a female celebrity, a handful of celebrity reality shows and Just Shoot Me, a sitcom about the fashion industry.  That's an easy breezy TV schedule.

Shows where it's a comedian or Rob Dyrdek laughing at clips on YouTube will not be watched by me.  That's just lazy television.  I know about the rebranding of G4TV and it is now going to be named Esquire Channel but that's yet to be launched.  Will they have a less douchey version then the lineup of hosts for The Other Half?  I kinda hoping so (really, Danny Bonaduce?  Even when I was 12 I knew something was right about that guy and I love me some A.C. Slater but Mario Lopez wasn't polished yet to be a host along side the hosting gawd himself Dick Clark).  Please no mas Comedy Central, they've been trying to get back the Dave Chappelle magic with so many comedians.  It's time to call it a wrap and move on.

 

There's need to be shows that can teach men to be better.  Men are in a weird state right now, we can't joke about feminism, not all of us are up-to-date on music, we all don't know what to do in relationship, we can't cook for ourselves, we don't know what's good for our health, some of can't dress, in fact a lot of us can't dress.  What's a better way to teach us to be better at being men then a properly information filled television program?   I know it's a rival magazine but in GQ they have a section titled "How To Do Everything Better".  Now there's an idea, they feature such things as how to catch a mouse, how to beat anyone in a game of Horse and other simple yet challenging things that can carry an entire episode of Modern Family.

Right now women have The Talk, The View, Kathie Lee Grifford and Hoda Kotb have an hour to themselves after the Today Show, Aliya Jasmine from MTV got her own show, Play With AJ and this up-and-coming The Social is another hour of women's view on what's going on in the world.  Where's our show?  I'm sure we have an opinion on topics that hasn't already been covered on ESPN.  We can all teach each other how to be better.  We don't need men like Elvin from The Cosby Show out in this world.  Say what you want on Twitter but soon enough they'll be caught out in these streets saying something foolish to be eaten up and chewed out by women like Claire.

Give Cabral Richards an hour, we love Cabbie!  If you've ever heard his podcast, Cabbie is a great storyteller who talks about more things than just sports.  That How To Do Everything Better pitch idea is still up in the air.  I don't want much but an hour of four bros around a table talking about anything in the news that isn't sports.

Rant: Miley Cyrus

In the past 36 hours, all that's been trending, been spoken about on late night, been written about is Miley Cyrus.  I've read the articles, I've seen the memes and seen people lose their shit about it.  So I guess I'll put my two cents in.  

No, what Miley Cyrus did Sunday night at the VMAs wasn't racist.  It tipped toed that line but it was actually foolish, frantic and embarrassing.  Thinking it was racist is implying only black people should do be twerking and that's raycess!

Twerking isn't negative, it's just dancing.  When done correctly, it's a marvelous thing (S/O to Mizz Twerksum and her team).  The term twerking has involved from booty shaking to pop, locking and dropping to romp shaking.  It's the same as calling salsa dancing or merengue offensive.

"What's this lambada those Spanish people are always talking about?  And why is it forbidden?  It's time for an investigation."

Young Cyrus' discovery of twerking and bring it to the limelight, so much light that it's now entering the Oxford dictionary, is kinda like a Christopher Columbus discovering America dynamic.  There were already people there comfy and cozy with the land and what it had to give.  Then white people showed up.

"Bro, you see this?  What is that and that?  AND THAT?  Is there more?  I want to learn about this and other things so I can tell my friends and show it to them."

It's Elvis and Pat Boone.  Stealing black culture and showcasing it to white America who prior to had a lack of access to it.  Then white America shuns it, gets confused by it and gest disgusted by it, wondering whats wrong with the youth today.  The same people said the same thing about rock n roll except in a different age with less form fitting jeans.  It's rebellious, it's controversial.  It's cool.

I had no problem with Miley's obsession with twerking, at first.  Then the pics of her on Instagram with rappers and grabbing stripper booty popped up then she staring saying things like "she's bout that life" and even naming her next album "Bangerz" (with a Z), it got tiring.  Then she got on stage, and acted immature and slighty selfish because it was her time to shine and show off the new Miley.  But this former Disney princess came off more as a pauper, a poor representation of the black culture she's taken apart of.  The real sad part is, she's actually talented.  Her singing ability will take a backseat to her tongue wanging and her flap jacks gyrating.

I'm not mad at what she did on Sunday, I was more creeped out.  It was over-the-top, not very entertaining and kinda offensive (to those who didn't understand).  If anything I just want her to pay homage to the culture she's currently offending.  Plus I'm also trying to school white people (and others) who are new to this whole thing.  When you wanna be apart of black culture, it's a thin line between appreciative and appropriating.  And she crossed it.  Do better, little bitch.*

People have taken my cake in the past, eaten it, pissed on it and spit it out when they were done with it.  In soon enough time, people will move on from this current trend and discover something else and try and eat that cake too.  If another Miley or Macklemore** shows up and get the same attention or do the same numbers as they do, then I won't have much cake left.  And at this point, in these situations, I don't want the cake back because sometimes you leave it with a bad taste in my mouth.

*- If you watch Awkward, I mean to say lil' bitch the same way Jenna's aunt says it.  I was just unable to find a gif or video of it.

**- Totally get the message of Same Love but that doesn't regard the fact that the song sucks.

Storytime: My Beef With Trendhunter

You can easily find someone for their work with Google, all you need is their name and the title.  You can find some of my work by typing my name, Jordan Miller and Trendhunter.

Let's all click on this link together shall we on a particular thing that I wrote last year: http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/wind-up-toys-based-on-the-wire

First off that title: Incarceration-Inspired Toys.  Read it, now read it again, now think for a second.  What are you in for with that title, Incarceration-Inspired Toys?  Toys based on jail.  Little shivs, plastic jail cells, plastic jail yards, etc.  Now look at the picture.  Even if you've never seen an episode, you probably recognize Omar Little.  Trenchcoat, bulletproof vest, durag, that's Omar from The Wire.  They're windup toys inspired by characters from The Wire.

Now read the title again and look at the image.  The Wire was about anything but jail, it was about how politics is just as dirty as the dope game and the cops in the show used a wire to tap into the big name players in the dope game.  And eventually they'll be caught and put into jail.

The Wire has snowballed into this cult classic television series that is almost the common denominator of what good television is.  Breaking Bad is that denominator today but a few years after The Wire ended it was that show you need to watch.

Now the copy, first paragraph:

Is there anything better for the kids than some wind-up toys based on The Wire? Artist and sculptor Mister Frothee makes toys as gifts, including bobbleheads, puppets and wind-up toys. He recently completed a collection of miniature wind-up toys at 2.5-inches tall in the style of the characters from The Wire.

Nothing really wrong there, I could've gone a bit more sarcastic describing The Wire but it was a year ago and I had a character limit.  Mister Frothee also did toys of characters from Deadwood and Mad Men.  Let's continue.

Many critics have called the show the best piece of fiction of the century, making it an obvious source of inspiration for modern art and apparently, modern toys. Unfortunately, these wind-up toys based on The Wire aren't for sale; however, a quick browse at the mere images of them are sure to inspire you to pick up your remote and get more familiar with the antics of the cast of The Wire.

Shut the front door.  Read that first line and tell me you didn't raise an eyebrow to it.  The best piece of fiction of the century?  You can't be serious.  Did this editor go through another editor before this was published?  I know for damn sure I didn't write anything about the century in the original.

How things were done over at Trendhunter is you find something interesting (a third of the things posted are fashion related) write about it without copying anything all under 200 word count and source where you got it from.  Now I don't remember verbatim but I'm pretty sure I mentioned that it's critically acclaimed and one of the best shows in the past 10 years.  Saying it's the best piece of fiction of the century is a such a foolish thing to write and to later publish it on the site is egregious.

I didn't even reply back on it, I just stopped writing and submitting things for them.  It's an internship, why the hell am I home alone doing it and not at your office?  Not even an internship it was almost like a tryout, I went there once.  Their office was in the same building where I got hijacked to Brampton.

Ever since then, I also give a side eye whenever they are mention.  I guess you can say, it made me feel some type of way.  Oh and I don't wanna start throwing cards but calling toys jail inspired when three of the five toys are black with one looks a bit Hispanic?  Yeah ummm, I'm not saying nothing but none of the source links mention jail.  Again, I'm not saying nothing but that's my gripe with Trendhunter.

Top 5 Worst Commissioners In Sports

5. David Stern

I honestly don't think Stern is that bad of a commissioner but he has done some absurd things dating all the way back to the infamous 1985 NBA Draft Lottery.  He's tamed down over the years but he has done some thing that have raised a few eyebrows.  Like fining the Spurs $250,000 because they sat too many players for a televised Thursday game on TNT.  Then there's the instances of referees calling non-fouls during playoff games but there's no proof that he made the call to get in refs ears.  Oh and axing the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade was pretty bad too.

4. Roger Goodell

Now I put Goodell near the bottom mainly because he's hasn't been in power as long as the others.  But he's still messed up, mainly with New Orleans.  When word got out that the New Orleans Saints held bounties against certain players in the 2009-11 seasons, shit got real.  Suspensions were handed out.  Head coach Sean Payton was suspended for the season, defensive coordinator Gregg Williams was suspended indefinitely, interim coach Joe Vitt (six games), GM Mickey Loomis (eight games) and players Jonathan Vilma, Scott Fujita, and Will Smith all got four games, Anthony Hargrove got eight games.  They all appealed and guess what?  The players won, Goodell pushed too hard to get the players and the panel was like "Hold on wait a minute, you didn't really prove anything written.  It's all hear say."

That was in 2011, fast forward two years, Goodell wants no one to have fun in the NFL.  The new rules under Unsportsmanlike Conduct are pretty ridiculous.  Players literally can't do anything if they score a touchdown, get a sack or make any type of play that involves a momentary celebration.  No home run swing, sorry Lesean McCoy, no spiking the ball, sorry Gronk.  No sack dances, sorry jiggly Seahawks lineman.  These rules are turrible Kenny, just turrible.  He's also mandating that every player must wear knee and leg pads.

3. Gary Bettman

Three lockouts since he's been in office.  The forever long moving sale of the Phoenix Coyotes, will they or won't they move, if so will they go to Quebec or Southern Ontario or Seattle.  Plus he's short and has to compensate with his incompetence with stupid decisions like trying to expand teams to places that don't have ice like Florida, Tampa Bay, Atlanta and Phoenix.

2. Sepp Blatter

Now soccer (or futbol) isn't my sport of choice but some of the things Sepp has done have caught my intrigue and can not be looked over when coming up with this list.  I already think FIFA is corrupt and Qatar hosting the World Cup for 2022 just smells of wrongdoing.  Here's the thing about Qatar, it's pretty fucking hot there, so hot they've gone from talks about having it indoors implementing cooling technology for the players and the crowd to moving the World Cup to the WINTER.  Moving the World Cup to the Winter because soccer players running around in 50°C weather sounds just as ludicrous as you think it is.

Roger Goodell may want to protect players with these new rules but players are afraid to tackle each other without getting penalized for it.  Gary Bettmen can't go a full season of hockey without having to shut things down.  But moving a global tournament because the country stuffing your pockets is a tad bit hot during the months you're suppose to play there?  Nah b.  You can't do that.  You bought your king size bed with Qatar's riyals now you sleep in said bed as you have the two fans rotating on you as you sleep on a nice 38°C night in Qatar.  Oh and here's a list of other stupid ideas Sepp came up with that I can't make sound any better.

1. Bud Selig

Pretending that you have your eye on players and performance-enhancing drugs when really you're just waiting on sketching guys in Miami that look like this to roll over on players?  Yeah, that's the worst.  One of my early instances of Selig's awfulness is the 2002 All-Star game when he called the game a tie in the home town of the team he once owned in Milwaukee.  He tried to make up with it by making the winning league of the All-Star game have home-field advantage instead of you know, the team having the better win-loss record.

Then there's Pete Rose.  Rose never bet against his own team and his ban has been going on for almost 25 years now.  I'm doubtful most players today would disagree that Pete Rose is the best hitter baseball has ever seen, yet him and his numbers aren't in Cooperstown.  Yes, he gambled but gambling isn't exactly illegal across North America and it scared anyone from betting within their baseball club.  Now if you banned him to show the rest of the league a lesson, lesson's been learned.  Now un-ban Pete Rose.

The real tipping point that made Bud atop of my list, is this A-Rod and lifetime ban talk recently.  Lifetime ban?  For no positive test to show for it and under another rule about damaging the sport?  Come on Bud.  You know you messed up.  This witch hunt for A-Rod has made me like A-Rod, that's the real worst.  When someone uses drugs we try and find treatment for them, not punishment.  Bud is just trying to push and shove all these players away with force instead of lending a hand and asking why they're doing what they're doing.  Bud turned a blind eye to drugs during the steroid era mainly because baseball was making money again.  And it's about money again, if he gets A-Rod banned there's a whole lot of money going back to the Yankees.  That's a good look for Bud because he's doing what's best for the owners.

The Road Ahead

I know what's at the end of my road and it's a job.  A job in advertising, copywriting.  Writing headlines, body copy, blog posts, blurbs that will end up in magazines or a brand site.  Will there be accommodations or perks when I get there?  I don't know, not everyone gets the freebies at the end of the road.

I've taken a few pit stops on my ride to the end of the road.  I've grabbed a cup of coffee, stuck around for the lunch special and in some cases took the newspaper with me to the bathroom.  All because my ride to the end of the road ran out of gas.

"There's just not any room right now."
"We can only have x amount of people at the time."
"We'll call you if anything opens up."
"There's just not enough work right now."

Is it my fault?  No.  There's nothing I can do about the hiring process except doing the job to the best of my ability.  It's just the circumstances when I arrive.  They have an open slot, they have work needed to be done, work gets done, then there's a stand still.  That's how it's always been.

I know I'm capable of being better than I am now.  I know I'm capable of finding a place that will constantly challenge me.  I know I'm capable of this but... nothing has given me that chance or opportunity.  When that opportunity has opened, it seems to close as soon as I get in.

Right now I'm on the side of the road.  With my head under the hood of my ride fixing something that isn't broken.  Maybe if I tweak this, it'll make me get there faster.  Maybe if I change a tire, my ride will be smoother.  What else can I do to make it to the end of my road?  Or will have to take another pit stop, if I find one, just to find some place of entitlement?  I'm tired, real tired but I know I have a long way to go to get to where I want to be.

In my years trying to get to the end of this road, I never stuck my thumb out for a free ride.  Never piggybacked off of someone else or tailgated to get to where I wanted.  It's not me, in the past I've been offered rides but as soon as those offers opened up, the door closed.  When I look back at my ride, will I be satisfied how I got there whether it was based on my own merit or on someone else's.

Well I gotta get back on the road because no one stops to see the car at the side of the road.  I know I can get there, to the end of the road, whether or not I'll find another pit-stop or get on the right path toward that road.  Heck I could be on the wrong road this whole time.  Won't know until I get back behind the wheel.

My Problem With Baseball

Whenever somebody cheats, MLB just doesn't know how to be consistent when it comes to punishment.  So inconsistent that they're not even going by their own rules to punish players for PED use.

Barry Bonds cheated and got away with it.  Mainly because his homeboy Greg Anderson didn't say a word when asked about steroids in court.  That's what baseball has been for the past decade in court rooms figuring out who cheated and if past players should be in the hall of fame because of PED usage.  Why does nobody in the MLB have the balls to make a decision on how to punish people when they cheat?

By their policy, if you test positive the first time it's 50 games, 100 games for the second.  A-Rod cheated but didn't really cheat because it took something that wasn't on the listed on the MLB banned substance list.  If the MLB doesn't know what drugs are allowed and what aren't allowed, then how the hell do you know who to punish for what drug? 

He bought something, took a needle to the bum (or arm) and it made him have more energy.  That's performance enhancing.  Now after Ryan Braun got caught lying, actually no, he just admitted to it.  There's no positive test.  Now there's word they want to ban A-Rod for cheating even though he didn't really cheat by baseball's standards.  Baseball has fallen once again.  They literally have nothing on Braun, A-Rod now still hasn't be suspended ever for PED use and now they're going from 65 games for Ryan Braun to a lifetime ban for A-Rod?  That's fucking ridiculous.

This is why I can't enjoy baseball - was never much of a fan in the first place but I digress - no one knows how to lay the hammer down when someone breaks the rules.  "A-Rod never got caught or suspended but we think he's the ring leader to something bigger, we're going hard at him."  Has MLB slowly turned into Daniels, McNulty and crew from The Wire?  The players involved in the Black Sox Scandal in 1919,  all of them got banned.  Pete Rose bet on teams, banned for life.  Find proof and punish them according to the rules.  The steroid debate will never come to an end.  It's the song that never ends.

Most Disappointing Things So Far This Year

Yeezus - Like I flat out didn't like it.  I can't even like Bound 2 that much because it felt so out of place on that disjointed album.

Blue Jays - Like I was thinking playoffs in their first year with these new players but I was expecting at least a fight.  That 11 game winning streak in June isn't that impressive when you go 8 - 19 after it's broken.

Spring Breakers - Disappointed that I payed for it and disappointed that it didn't even attempt to be a movie.  Wouldn't even consider watching it from start to finish, I'll just search the memorable scenes on YouTube.

Aaron Hernandez - No one saw this coming.  He was suppose to leap frog Gronk and Tony Gonzalez as the best TE in the NFL next season.  Boy did he fuck that up, like everything.  I know there's the whole guilty until proven innocent but there's TOO much evidence that said he did it.  And those friends of his will flip on him in a minute.  Another thing that's disappointing his how the NFL and NCAA are handling it by removing any and everything with his name on it.  How can take down someone's stats on your site NFL.com?  How you gonna remove him from your games EA?  And after complaints from visitors they removed an autograph picture of him in the Pro Football Hall of fame?  Was that before or after they went past the OJ Simpsons Bills and 49ers jerseys?  Lets no go there with whose clean and who isn't in the Hall of Fame.  It's ridiculous how the NFL and NCAA have dealt with this whole thing.  God forbid Hernandez is acquitted and found innocent of all charges.

Rap - Remember when rap used to scare and intimidate people?  Me neither, nowadays they're apologizing for every lyric that isn't positive.  Rape, aggressive sex and autism all have to be sworn off before some group is raising their flags at a genre they don't care for.

Emmys - Really the three men from Modern Family who were Al Bundy get nominated again?  While Nick Miller, Ron Swanson, Jamie Lannister are left off?  C'mon now.

Dom Kennedy - It's almost August and there is still no project yet from Dom.  Why the long wait Dom?!

Mac Miller - Disappointed I no longer dislike him.  Watching Movies was a damn good project, his verse on Ariana Grande's I Like The Way is perfect and his producer persona of Larry Fishman has come out with some of the best production I've heard all year.

People on Facebook - They still have no chill and they're trolling backwards, using their real name.  Watch what happens when I see him on the street, no jock nod, no dap, I'm flat out asking: The fuck is wrong with you?

ABC - They messed around with my Happy Endings and got it cancelled.  Meanwhile, a show about aliens that moved into the neighbourhood is still on the air.  In 2013.

July - Not a damn thing sporting wise worth watching.  No I'm not watching baseball.

Big Brother 15 - So much bigotry from people being watched 24/7.  Like there's no way this many people can say such vile things to each other and let it slide.  You gotta throw hands or at least yell or cause a commotion if someone says such racist things behind your back.  And they're BEING WATCHED 24/7 and some of them are denying they ever said anything racist!  Two of you bitches already got fired from your job!  Oh if they stick around long enough to the point where they do the family interviews, the family and friends will be deflecting the producers questions on how they were raised like Spartans holding their shields up with the arrows rained down.

Kofi Kingston - Still no push, still stuck in the mid card, still has no pectoral muscles.

Florida - Sooo many news links I could attach and ya know, the whole Stand Your Ground thing and Zimmerman thing.

Agents of SHIELD - Sheesh this show is mediocre, not bad but not very good.

Macklemore - The fact that he's a thing is disappointing.  Yeah yeah, Same Love, I cringe every time I hear the piano of Can't Hold Us and it's hard to avoid now since every commercial for a movie has it as the back-in music.  Have you ever seen Macklemore perform live?  I can never hear him, ever.  Not during his SNL performance and not during his MTV Movie Awards performance.  No way I caught the two times he performed and the audio was bad, no way.  Yes, I've heard Wing$.  It was corny then as it is corny now.  Oh and that haircut, Jesus.  I saw Lawless with Tom Hardy and Shia Lebeouf on The Movie Network in maybe June and I swear, a week after that everyone had that Prohibition haircut.  I call it that because Jimmy from Boardwalk Empire had the same cut.  And if someone tries to tell me "This is real hip-hop..." I'mma just leave the room.

MTV's Teen Wolf - This Teen Wolf isn't scoring 40 points and doing 360 dunks from the free throw line?  Nah I don't condone this Teen Wolf show.  They Twilighted him, it's basically a Jacob spinoff.

Myself - Thought I'd be writing for money by now, nope.  Still doing it for free.

White people - Paula Deen, Miley Cyrus, Megyn Kelly the Fox analyst who wanted people to know that Santa was white, Rob Ford, Eminem, Dan Snyder, Bauuer for making New Yorkers mad because of the Harlem shake, the people at A&E who back paddled and reinstated the Duck Dynasty family member Phil Robertson back on the show (I assume there's not one person of color in those A&E offices).

The discovery and embarrassment of Twerking - Christ almighty, that fact I can't search "twerk" on Twtter without seeing bare struggle cakes tryna move because of Lil Bitch Cyrus.  The fact that this video exists and this makes me nauseous.  Have to clear my browser in case the NSA is watching.

Thoughts on Instagram Video

When I first heard the news that Instagram will have video, my first thought was: this is a bad idea.  Instagram is already a formidable and favourable app that does what it needs to do, take pretty pictures and has a selection of filters to make it more pretty.  The anti-Instagram users already think it's a hipster device and think the current users aren't that equipped in photography to make a regular photo have a vintage feel.  It's not that the video function is bad (I don't have Instagram but I creep) it's the thought of who will use it, is what makes it a bad idea. 

Those folks that take pictures of themselves constantly (selfies), the ones that take pictures of food, the ones that take pictures of scenery, the ones that take pictures of newly bought clothes/jewelry/shoes etc. They are the ones that are going to be using this.  According to Mashable, Instagram video will have a time limited to 15 seconds, support 13 custom filters just for video, users can edit and remove frames of the footage and choose a cover photo for their videos.  Everyone thinks this will kill Vine in a matter of days with the amount of people that jumped ship but I still think Vine will win.

Vine is better than Instagram video because there's people know how to use Vine in a quick and amazing fashion that works in this day of people with ADD.  And these are everyday people using it, which is the best part.  Vine really started to pick up steam in the first week of June and you could find some of the best ones ranging from funny to hilarious to voice-overs to twerking (a lot of twerking).  Now not all of them are perfect (especially twerking) but they have the idea and want to be apart of the phone.  The creativity is immense and you gotta have great timing to use Vine.  You have 6 seconds to entertain, that's a real small window but an easy one: a set-up and punchline or a bait and switch joke.  Add 9 seconds to that, do you think people who use Instagram and don't understand Vine can use this?  The same people who have in their first row of pictures, three selfies and two pictures of food?  I don't think they'll be jumping ship that quick.

In my personal opinion - that's why it's my blog and my thoughts - Vine has a better surviving power than Instagram Video.  Vine can team up with a long list of sponsors and studios that can use it.  Teaming with movie studios for anticipated new movies teasers, video game companies to reveal new games or characters to popular games ie. Super Smah Bros for Wii U, there's party events, Broadway shows, restaurants for new dishes, the list goes on.  Anything that delivers a quick and easy message that the audience can understand.  15 seconds too long for everyday people to use and too short for a promo for Batman: The Animated Series.  Unless someone goes the short short film route using the filters to make noir films, old westerns and foreign films, then maybe there some lasting power.  But they'll be going that vintage route that everyone is tired of right?  Or am I wrong?

Anderson Silva Dreams He's On Brazil's National Team

The other night while watching the Anderson Silva documentary Anderson Silva: Like Water that followed him on his journey to his UFC 117 fight against the talking trash bag Chael Sonnen, I thought back to the first time I saw him fight and it was seven years ago on Ultimate Fight Night 5 against middleweight tough guy Chris Leben.

The UFC was still "new" at that time and Leben came out of the very first Ultimate Fighter and he was a tough S.O.B. who wasn't afraid to get hit in the face.  The only fighters I knew of came from UF, so when I see this skinny Brazilian enter the cage I didn't have much thought that this guy would become one of the most dominant fighters in fighting history.  His strikes were clean, he evaded everything Leben threw at him and all it took was a knee to his grill and it was a wrap.

Silva most recently appeared in a Vivo commercial for everyone that dreams of being on the Brazilian National Soccer Team.  Silva dreams he's apart of the team but with more rear naked chokes, jump kicks and referee intimidation.  But even though that would make soccer a lot more interesting, he ends up ruining the game and making everyone want to kill him.  Leading him to sell shrimp on the beach for a living.  It'll make much more sense once you watch the commercial.

Summer Viewing: 6 Show Suggestions To Watch This Summer

Summertime.  Bright sun, warm weather, girls in bikinis, time at the cottage, summer anthems and marathon binges of shows you missed out on.  Now there are shows returning this summer but nothing notable until late June/early July (True Blood on June 16th, Under the Dome on June 24th, The Newsroom on July 14th), these are just recommendations for you to watch and hopefully you find something you love and you can tell your friends, family members, co-workers, significant other or significant side chick/dude.  So here's a list of newer shows/in their first few seasons that may not be as recognized as others.  Remember these are suggestions that I've either watched or heard good things about, I won't steer you wrong.  And I'm not one of those people yammering on about Game of Thrones.

Spartacus: The Entire Series (4 seasons, 39 episodes)

Now when this first premiered, even before that when it was renewed before an episode even aired, the general synopsis was tits, blood, gore and more tits.  Then a few episodes in they decided to focus on the story.  In the first season, the season Spartacus wasn't exactly Spartacus yet.  A Thracian warrior is betrayed by his Roman "allies" and forced into slavery seperating him from his wife, where he leads his brethren and others in a rebellion against their oppressors.  Throughout the series, the fighting just gets better and better.  Unbelievable slow motion dismemberments and decapitations of body parts.  CGI blood everywhere.  Steamy sex scenes.  Historical costumes.  And yes, it's Ancient Greece so there's some male on male action.  Just look at the corner of the screen if you're uncomfortable.

When actor Andy Whitfield dealt with a more serious battle with cancer (he later passed), they made a 6 episode prequel season, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena that introduced the former champion of the arena, the Zack Morris of the coliseum, Gannicus.  Outside of the battle Gannicus had his left hand on that jug of wine, right hand on that pu... you get the idea.  The story is intriguing, adding layers of depth, intertwining fictional and historical facts, you find yourself emotionally attached to characters by accident.  After Andy passed (Liam McIntyre becoming his replacement), they continued on with season two, Spartacus: Vengeance and season three, Spartacus: War of the Damned, ending so damn climatic.  You should've seen me during that last episode amped outta my mind!  I HIGHLY recommend it.  And you get to see Xena naked.  And ladies, there's a lot of shirtless guys, a lot.  

Raising Hope (3 Seasons, 66 episodes)

Silly, goofy, cute, charming and occasionally funny is the best way to describe Raising Hope.  I mean the silliness begins in the synopsis: Jimmy Chance is a clueless 25-year-old who impregnates a serial killer during a one-night-stand.  After the mother is sentenced to death and electrocuted, Jimmy earns custody and relies on his wacky family to raise the child.  I think everyone needs goofiness in their programming and Raising Hope, is more silly than stupid and they deliver.

It does borderline on white trash but not fresh out of the trailer park more close to the fence past the murky creek that doubles as a kiddie pool.  Showrunner Greg Garcia also created My Name Is Earl and Yes, Dear.  I haven't met a soul who didn't enjoy Yes, Dear.  He obviously knows how to write heartwarming and earnest tales from the lower lower lower middle class and it got renewed for it's fourth season.

Hannibal (1 season, 13 episodes)

Based on the Red Dragon novel, the drama follows FBI criminal profiler Will Graham and psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter.  Mixing creepiness, tough suits and great acting, Hannibal looks like a show that's going to be around for awhile.  Outside of the pilot, I haven't seen much but it definitely has a fan base and a buzz around it.  AV Club hasn't given one episode anything less than a B.  Hannibal was one of the first shows I thought of when conducting this list.

Southland (5 seasons, 44 episodes)

Think we all can go for a cop show.  This cop show stars Regina King and Ben McKenzie (O.C. fans should recognize him), taking a look at the lives of LAPD officers.  For some reason when it comes to shows or movies depicting the LAPD, it's always described as "raw and gritty".  But when you have great camerawork like in this scene, I see why.

Bob's Burgers (3 seasons, 45 episodes)

There aren't too many popular animated shows out that's doesn't have Seth MacFarlane attached to it.  Everybody (still) watches Family Guy, American Dad is probable the best out of the lot and Cleveland Show is (still) on the air.  The best animated shows out are Archer, Adventure Time and Bob's Burgers.  It also helps H Jon Benjamin is on both Archer, Bob's Burgers and did voicework for Family Guy.

I've caught it a few times when there's no football to be watched and every time, I find my sides hurting from laughter.  The show is really good, the kids are all insane and the parents, Bob and Linda have a Homer and Marge type of relationship where you know they love each other but they're both aware of each other's faults.  Oh and they love to make bad music so catchy and awesome.  Especially Oil Spill, it's NOT subtle at all.

Peep Show (8 seasons, 48 episodes)

Now if you want to take a trip overseas to England, Peep Show follows flatmates Mark and Jeremy, also goes by Jez, living in South London from their point-of-view.  The show is shot is from the characters point-of-view with the internal thoughts of Mark and Jeremy as voiceovers. They're idiots.  I feel like sometimes you have to be as blunt as possible and they're idiots.  While Mark is an afficiendo of ancient history, he's a neurotic twat who falls head over heels for anyone woman that bats an eyelash at him and most times fails.  Jeremy is a wannabe musician who sees himself as a self proclaimed rockstar and sex machine who constantly fails at music and refusing to get a regular job.

Now since it's from the UK, some of the pop culture references might go over your head but if you're some what familiar with what's happening overseas you'll catch on.  I tried telling someone about this show in the past and she wasn't that big of a fan, most likely she started from the beginning.  With some shows it's not always a hit from the first episode or season, more on that later.  When I discovered the show, I watched an episode from the third season, I had the thought process that if this show is as funny as they say it is I can jump right in the middle and be satisfied.  And I was.

Going on for eight series, the punchline per ratio of this show equals that of only Happy Endings.  With a strong supporting cast of characters, Peep Show is one of the funniest shows I've seen in years.  Great cast, storylines on the levels of It's Always Sunny of offensiveness and absurdity, I highly recommend Peep Show for anyone whose a fan of British humour.  Bonus: every episode is on YouTube.


Honorable Mentions:

Spaced. (2 seasons, 14 episodes) If you're a fan of Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, this English comedy stars Simon Pegg as one half of a pretend couple that's renting a room.  With odes to Pulp Fiction, Star Wars and Tekken, this is a great short comedy to watch.  The Tekken scene had me stitches for days.

Scandal.  (2 season, 29 episodes) Don't think any black female would let me get away without mentioning Scandal.  Ask any black female if they watch Scandal and they might go on a full 45 minute set why you should watch Scandal.  As for as I know, it involves Kerry Washington, she's sleeping with the president (I think) and scandalous things happen.  That's all I got, I don't know what else to say.

Don't Trust The B... in Apartment 23. (2 seasons, 26 episodes) I'm mad this got cancelled.  It was a short run but it was a great run that got James Van der Beek a pay cheque.  June who within a week loses her boyfriend, job and most of her sanity, moves in with Chloe whose known for being a bitch.  But a fun bitch, so much fun.  They got away with a lot, I mean a lot of dirty jokes for network television.  And I miss Chloe just writing about this, here's a gif tribute of her.

Justified. (4 seasons, 52 episodes) Because it's really good?  I mean, I wouldn't steer you wrong.  I won't do that, if you've been reading this blog for awhile (or know me personally), you know I wouldn't suggest something to you that you wouldn't enjoy.  I mean, was kinda right about Girls back in December.  How was the second season?  Not that great right?  Not funny right?  Yeah, I don't want to dislocate my shoulder by patting myself on the back but I'm right about some things sometimes.

Justified is good though, deputy US Marshall Raylan Givens enforces his brand of justice in Kentucky.  Raylan is a suave S.O.B., swagger unseen since old westerns.  Layered storylines, complex characters and great underappreciated acting.  Do I have to say more because YouTube doesn't give me much outside of music tributes?

Now I wouldn't recommend a show to you that i don't believe in or think you'll stick around for after the first five episodes.  That's why I didn't say The Mindy Project, it took half the season for the core cast to be put together.  Mindy and Danny are the only ones that were fully established from the beginning, everyone else took their own sweet time.  It's good but you have to wait half the season of a 24 episode season for it to find it's feet.  Revolution, no.  Homeland the first season, good.  Second, meh.  Veep.  I tried y'all, I really did. Maybe you'll like it more, I hear good things but me personally, I didn't hate it, I just... I dunno.

Blind recommendation: The Americans.  Covert Russian spies posing as a suburban couple during the Cold War.