...Is what I said to myself as I started to fall asleep. The last thing I wrote about was in March and that was understanding Canada's hate for Justin Bieber but a few racists jokes later and you can't really defend something like that (all honestly, I believe most whites have dropped a few racist jokes amongst themselves). But Journals is still fire.
As I ruffled through ideas on what I could talk about, it then came to me why I stopped writing blog posts: I had nothing to write about.
I've talked about Bieber, Rob Ford, Saved By The Bell, Breasts. I had used up all my ammo. So I'll just answer the most common question people would ask me if they see me in these streets.
"So how's the love life?"
Bruh, I don't want to write about that. That's one of those topics that could generate enough bullets for a blog post is love, sex and relationships. I have one short one and it's real short like this paragraph short of a post. Will anyone actually read it? Will someone who regularly reads my posts actually read about my thoughts on love, sex and relationships?
I'm pretty much aware of who reads these by now. I link the blog posts to Twitter and then Facebook. Not as many people know me on Twitter as they do Facebook. I can usually tell by the likes from other stories and videos I linked to FB. The director from college, the ball player, the former Shoppers worker, old copywriter work pal, my buddy Kyle, the soccer fan, few of the former baes, the fitness trainer, the (former/present) mentor, the drag racer and a few others who are harder to describe.
Ain't nobody wanna hear about my hail mary attempts to holler at women. Hail Mary's, slap shots from the blue line, calling the goalie out of the net, 85 ft jumpers when the ball is inbound. Those wisdom memes and relationship advice from Twitter and IG have women thinking differently. Their minds are skewed. They meet a good guy and already think they have a side chick. Or that they're the side chick. Already asking about this phone password, creeping on his IG, looking to see whose photos he's liking. Social media has them paranoid and insecure. People need to take some of this advice with the finest grain of salt. Not everyone gets cheated on. Not everyone wants their relationship to be out in the open. Not everyone has #relationshipgoals. Men lie so they can avoid all of this.
But I will say this. That "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" shit is real. Because I know I've thrown a few full court jumpers at women who were later said to be "not that cute". Yet, when I see some of the females these guys are courting, it's a whole lot of "her?" going on in my head. But that's none of my business.
"Are you still trying to be in advertising?"
I don't know. I really don't know. It's so damn tasking to work on something to be presented and seen and critiqued and no one wants to see it. I used to email at least 15 agencies a day and get no answer back aside from automated email bots. Oh, you should do something that makes you stand out is what I was told. Yeah I did that. Changed up the email, moved shit around in the portfolio, went after smaller agencies. Different tactics, same results. No answer or they weren't looking for writers.
For a business that's constantly looking for new ways to reach people, they're still using the same old writers to do this. So, I got mad. Vented in emails and guess what? I got answers. Sure Y&R won't be calling me back (yeah, it was them they wrote this to me) but it got their attention.
Haven't emailed an agency since late May. My creativity is still there but it's everywhere and no where at the same time. Like a pigeon in a closed box. I've been saying I should write something for the past month and I've now given myself the time to do so. I'd be lying if I said it's because of work. I'm with a temp agency right now where I work maybe 20 hours a week, on a good week that is. Because just like in advertising and that love bs, looking for work is scressful.
"But don't you have any dreams you want to follow?"
Well, advertising was never my dream. My dream was making something of myself with what I went to school for. It just so happened to be advertising was my major. I created a lot of cool shit in college and I wanted to create more and get paid for it. Up to now I've been giving my ideas away for free for bus fare, a spare chair and a computer with wifi.
You know what film was one of Stanley Kubrick's favourites? White Men Can't Jump. If you haven't seen it, then what's the matter with you? For those who have, remember near the end of the film when Billy Hoyle finally jumped and dunked? That's the feeling I think everyone should be looking and aiming for. That moment where you've finally reached that pinnacle and achieved something that makes you yell out (mentally or physically) in excitement, happiness and joy come out. I'm looking for that. No idea when or where it'll happen but I'm still looking for it. Wonder where my Sidney Deane or Sidney Dean is?
Yeah that's it for now. Probably drop that short one about "love" soon but again, it's short. But if that's what the people want, then I'll post it.