Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Typical Sunday in September

When you're highly involved in fantasy football like I am, you can't help but sit back and really observe your Sunday morning before the 1 o'clock games have begun.  I'm the owner of seven fantasy teams (six on Yahoo!, one on ESPN) and the week leading up to the Sunday is as big of a priority as the hours before kickoff. 

In one league, I have no running backs and I'm lost because another owner has snagged the pick up player of the week so I have to go off the books and pick a backup to a lesser known RB, crossing my fingers he gets some touches for that Sunday.  In other leagues, I'm undefeated or have yet to win a game.  The fantasy football life is one you just can't visit, you have to fully involve yourself in it, everything from draft order to your fantasy name.  You have to read reports, read start 'em or sit 'em articles from various websites, look at game logs, fan preview pieces etc.  It's a life that very few can get acquainted in, you have to embrace it, heck you gotta be 'bout it, 'bout it.  For the next six months, you'll have your nose in football, if you haven't smelt the pigskin yet then you're just visiting.  It's even more hectic when there's money on the line.

I'm also involved in fantasy baseball, first year, and I'm currently in a final and it's tied.  This Sunday is a frantic one.  I leave you with someone who was always 'bout it 'bout it, Master P.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Random GIF of the Night

Now this gif has some backstory.

1) I love me some Community.  Not to get all hipster but I was watching this from the beginning and soon after word got out it was on the verge of getting cancelled, all of a sudden folks are posting clips and quotes on Facebook but I digress not everyone watches great, smart television from the very start.  They watch Big Bang Theory instead.

2) I had the opportunity to venture tonight solo or dolo (I wrote about it last weekend) to a club and passed on it.  Why?  Because I didn't want to go to a club myself, especially a rave.  Where weird shit happens and everyone is cool with it, like a trip to Disneyland but sweatier and with MDMA being passed around like candy.  One of these days I will go out on the town byself, in a leather jacket ordering scotch straight, there's a beauty on the dance floor, dancing by herself, I watch as she moves gracefully and I'm lookin' like Billy Dee Williams as I sip my scotch, she notices me and begins to dance seductively as she stares, I don't engage and she dances closer to get my attention, she grabs me by the jacket starring at me dead in my eye and we dance to the beat of the music, it's just us on the dance floor pulling off a routine you'd only see on Dancing With The Stars or the dance sequence from Airplane!.  Or some shit like that.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

WFMML: Obsessed, You Touched My Child

In this WFMML (Will Forever Make Me Laugh) piece, I will highlight the extremely laughable and awful movie starring the R&B goddess Beyonce Knowles and Stringer Bell sans a moustache, Obsessed.  The 2009 suspense thriller, also starring Ali Larter from Heroes (or Varsity Blues if you're older) and as the synopsis goes:

A successful asset manager, who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage. But when a temp worker starts stalking him, all the things he's worked so hard for are placed in jeopardy.

And what an episode of Jeopardy this garbage was.  With suspense movies, they are either really good or really bad.  Almost every afternoon TMN (The Movie Network) brings on some suspense movie starring some actress from a decade old TV show.  I knew this movie was gonna be bad but as soon as a saw Jerry O'Connell's name pop up in the opening credits, I knew it was gonna be something terrible.  Jerry O'Connell is poison to movies, everything he's been in starting in the new millinieum has been dreadful.  The trailer doesn't help out and the only reason to even watch this movie is for the ridiculously written dialogue and the wonderful way they are acted out. 

The creme de la creme though, has to be when Ali Larter's character (SPOILER) gets inside Sharon and Derek's (Bee and Stringer) house after telling the babysitter she's a "friend" of Sharon's and cradles with their child in hand when Sharon calls the house to check on the babysitter and Beyonce does her best soap opera actress on to sell the hell out of this line...

I can reply this video a good three, four times and it'll always make me laugh. 

Tiger Driver '91

I didn't name this blog japanese commentary for nothing.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Jones/Belfort UFC 151 Breakdown with Help From Ed O'Neill

I'm a fan of MMA.  I'm really interested in the science of MMA especially BJJ (brazilian jiu jitsu).  I did BJJ briefly about a year ago and there is definately a science of how things work and how you can win and avoid submissions of your opponent.  One of my favourite Youtube channels to watch is GracieBreakdown.  The channel is hosted by Rener and Ryron Gracie of the illustrious Gracie family, sons of Rorion Gracie, the founder of the UFC.  After every UFC pay-per-view (sometimes Strikeforce or older UFC events) they breakdown a submission that may have happened during the event. 

In this video they breakdown the most recent UFC event, UFC 152, where Jon Jones, light heavyweight champion, almost submitted to an armbar from his opponent Vitor Belfort.  Jones escaped the hold and later won the fight but the damage was done.  Belfort popped (hyper extended) Jones arm and he may have nerve damage.  Rener and Ryron breakdown how Jones escaped Belfort's armbar.  And they're also joined by Ed O'Neill of Modern Family some may know him as Al Bundy - who, with a quick Google search, is a brown belt in bjj and has been a student of the Gracie's for over 20 years.  If you have 26 minutes to spare, I suggest you check it out.

Monday, September 24, 2012


This is an oldie but a goodie.  It'll forever make me smile and it's a very good parody, a lot lot better than the original (anything with Plies can't be a good thing).  Only sad part is I want bacon and have none at home.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

One Man Mission: Going Out Dolo

do-lo [dōlō]
  1. Alone. Solo, for self.
  2. Doing shit by yourself.

It’s Friday night, you just got paid and you’re listening to that 80’s song with the mulatto whose braids look like yarn.  And you want to go out.  You call your boys /girls/people to see what they’re up to for that night.  No one wants to go out, either they had a long day, they’re broke or just don’t want to go out.  Now what?  You still have the urge to drink, dance, or get ratchet as the kids say.  Do you go dolo?  All you really want to do is have fun, are mutual others needed for you to have fun or do they hinder the experience or even cause damage to you having fun?  The thought of going to a bar or club where you know it’s going to be a packed house by yourself seems unrealistic or taboo today.  But there are advantages to going out on your own.

“So what you do last night?”
“Went to Rockwood”
“Oh you and your boys?”
“Nah just me”
“Really?  You went by yourself?  Why?”

With a club packed full of people, you can snake your way through the crowd unlike those groups that looks like a congo line is headed toward the bar.  At bars, you and your party need a table together and when its packed tables and booths for four or more go quick but when you’re solo there’s always the small two seater tables or just pull up a bar stool at the bar.  With going dolo, you don’t have to worry about leaving early because your one friend isn’t feeling the atmosphere (or just be a spoil sport) or in the words of Dom Mazzetti “their motherly instincts kick in and everybody’s sober again” because that one friend got too sloppy. 
If you know how to have fun and are filled with energy like Redbull then you can carry that energy onto others and you should be able to enjoy yourself.  Not saying you’re going to have a montage of chatting it up with strangers, taking shots, dancing with beautiful women and walking out with the owner having laughs and giggles but it would at least mirror part of the first three.  Sidenote: beautiful women aren’t single anymore, they’re taken or married or having kids or pregnant.  So why are you beautiful and pregnant trying to get in a club?  The bouncers should shush you away like Craig Robinson in Knocked Up. 
Bars are different.  It's mostly bros and couples that go if there's a game or fight that's happening.  If you’re trying to rev up the bar for the up-and-coming fight, stop.  You’ll just look douchy.  Sit down, enjoy your drink, you can cheer and clap but do it with regards to those trying to avoid the douche at the bar.

“This bro is clapping why too hard.  You’re not in his corner bro, shut up!” 

This past summer, I saw The Dark Knight Rises by myself.  Now this is Batman, I didn’t really care who I was going with but I was gonna see the last of the Nolan trilogy that Saturday at that time.  And you know what?  I enjoyed it.  (DKR plot holes aside) I really enjoyed seeing a movie by myself in a crowded theatre.  Without having to wait for anyone, you can buy your snacks ahead of time, don’t have to tell folks you’re saving a seat for anyone, you just sit down, eat your popcorn and wait for the movie to start.  Sidenote: only thing I buy from theatres is the ticket.  Don’t get me started on snack prices, $4 for some twizzlers ta loco FOUR DOLLARS!  Now a movie has different implications, no one wants to hear anything but the movie and occassional laughter/screaming, even that can be annoying.  Just sit and be quiet and if the theatre isn't so packed, kick your feet up.
Bar/clubs are different.  You’re socializing, trying to get the bartenders/waiters attention, wondering if that girl/guy at the bar is cute or not and just having fun.  Going by yourself to these places shouldn’t be socially awkward as some make it out to be.  Waiting on people is a bitch especially when you know them.  Now I’m just touching on the routine spots, there’s still concerts, fairs, food festivals, school events, outdoor events, gatherings of Juggalos etc. that have to be explored, you and your friends gonna go or you gonna go dolo?

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

List: Top 5 Favourite Syndicated Movies

5. True Lies

The amount of times A&E has brought this movie on I could probably quote it word for word.  I even to the point of knowing when certain scenes happen.  I know when the horse/motorcycle scene happens, when Bill Pillman gets KO'd in the car and of course the only reason I can tolerate those damn Activia commercials today, the Jamie Lee Curtis striptease.  Seriously, I'm tired of hearing how regularly you poop thanks to yogurt Jamie, stop it!

4. Die Hard

My goodness, every Christmas/New Years they bring this on.  It has become a holiday tradition for some network to bring this on, like every Halloween they show scary movies, every Easter it's Ben-Hur, every Christmas holiday where you're home for two-three weeks they bring on the Die Hard series.  Die Hard 2 I'll tune into more than the the others in the series mainly because it's my favourite plus the swerve that John Amos is working with the enemy was always a nice reveal.  Yet to see Live Free and Die Hard but I heard it's good despite the PG-13 rating and Justin Long.  Die Hard: With a Vengeance is just laughable on television.  They should ban any rated R movie starring Samuel L. Jackson in it because the dubbing is beyond ridiculous.  Ever see Snakes On A Plane on television, yeah the movie was bad and even worse censored?

3. The Replacements

Football is my favourite sport, possibly the best on earf (soccer fans sit down).  If there's one thing that will get me to watch a TV movie for two hours and commercials is sports movies.  Add comedy to it and I'm hooked.  Back when it was still TBS in Canada (I'm not calling it PeachtreeTV) they used to premiere a movie on the Sunday and reply it for an entire week to fill the time slot when Atlanta Braves baseball wasn't on.  That's how I thoroughly enjoyed the Keanu Reeves movie where he's not a stoner rock star wannabe or dressed in all black shooting something.  Plus add Gene Hackman, Orlando Jones, formerly of MadTV and the forever funny Faizon Love.

2. Goodfellas

Do I really need to pad the greatness of this movie?  I'll just leave this.

1. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

60% of the time, it works every time. 

Brick killed a guy. 

You see, I'm kind of a big deal. 

It smells like bigfoot's dick! 

Tonight's top story: The sewers run red, with Burgundy's blood! 

Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! 

I believe "diversity" is an old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era. 

I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. 

Tits McGee! 

Mr. Burgundy you have a massive erection. 

"Uh, Brick, before I let you go, uh, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament this summer?" Brick: "No. No, too many people died last year." 

Great Odin's raven! 

Bears they can smell the menstruation. 

You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?

As you can already tell, it's a very quotable movie.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Will Forever Make Me Laugh: But Black Dynamite...

If you're one of the few people that have never seen the 2009 movie, Black Dynamite, then I really feel bad for you.  It is one of the freshest movies you'll see in a very long time.  It isn't a parody of blacksploitation of the 70's, it is a blackspolitation movie including the bad edits, bad dialogue and revealing boom mics.  This scene is just a tip of the ridiculous iceberg of this movie.  I highly recommend this movie.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Long Hair, I Do Kinda Care: Cornrows and Ponytails

What exactly is the cut off age for someone having cornrows?  19-21. When white women go to a sandy beach destination and want to live their Bo Derek fantasy from the only movie most people even know her for, that's a pass but as soon as you hop on the plane back home your man or friend better take them things. You can't win with braids.

When I see black males that are clearly over the age of 21 and they have braids, I can't help but wonder if they choose to avoid a barbershop when they see one. What reason do you have to walk around your town with braids still?  Oh the ladies loved them in high school, cool.  How old are you now?  20 years old?  Go to the barber.  If I was an employer and you came in with cornrows, whether or not you can do the job isn't even my priority at that moment. All I'm thinking about is, where do you live and are there barbershops there?  And please don't try and convince me your a product of your environment, everybody got braids there so you must follow suit. Stop it. I will not believe you of that bullshit.


Ray Horton, Arizona Cardinals defensive coordinator, is 52 years old.  At that age he'd be lucky to have hair especially when you used to be an athlete and daily stress of your career causes hair loss. At 52, Ray has cornrows. Is he single?  Is he trying to keep up with the 21-24 year old players he's coaching?  Why Ray?

"But RGIII (Robert Griffin III) has braids!"

Griffin makes 5.2 million a year, what's your bi-weekly cheque look like?

Maintaining a short haircut isn't that hard.  Wash and comb, don't be one of them dudes brushing constantly to keep their waves intact like they're trying to make Frankie Avalon catch a wave on his boogie board. Every month or two get a haircut and start over.  How many times have you asked homegirl few doors down if she can braid your hair tomorrow?  How many times have you asked on FB/Twitter who braids hair?  How many times have you had your head stuck between a woman's legs with no chance of.. ya know?  Stop the madness and head to the barber.

Then there's ponytails.  Why do you have a ponytail when you're not a indy wrestler or part of a rock band?  If you are part of a rock band, don't grow a ponytail.  Do anything else with your hair but grow it into a ponytail (f*#k dreads, don't get ideas).  Serious look around and if you meet someone with a ponytail ask them the following:
What is your wrestling name?  You can look back in the history of wrestling, there's a wide variety of hair that have stuck around for years and the one that remains prodomiate is the ponytail.  HHH, Mr. Perfect, Shawn Michaels, Test, Edge, Christian, Shane Helms. Helms, Edge, Christian and have all cut their hair during their careers and have had a respectful resume, not so much Helms, even he knew that superhero gimmick would go too far. Recently HHH cut his hair, yes he looks odd without that grudge tribute attached to his head but everyone looks odd the first few times you see them without hair.  You get used to it, that's life.  Shit changes and you learn to adapt.  Then there are the people that are still living in the glory days, holding onto what makes them them.

What's the name of your band?  Are their rock bands with guys with ponytails still? I know there was the whole dreads phase that Jonathan Davis of Korn still has but are ponytails still part of the attire or has the hair moved to their face?  I've seen a lot of bands where there's atleast two guys that look like they're part of Sons of Anarchy cosplay minus the bikes and irish accents.  Just beards, beards and clothes that make them look like their from some village Liam Neesan has to kick ass in ie. The Sheep Dogs. I completely understand having a ponytail and you're in a band, for handbanging circumstances. If not cut it. You can't headbang without a mane of a hair.

What crime syndicate are you apart of?  Look at any action movie from the 80's, there's a ponytail express of goons with sub machine guns who can't shoot and have bad english.  Unless you're benching mini coopers, grab some safety scissors and do away the locks.

What hair salon do you work at?  Stop me if I'm stereotyping but the few times I've walked by a hair salon there's one flamboyant male there whose hair is in a ponytail telling the older woman in the chair how her chair should look and what to do with it. Yeah, you can't tell them what not to wear. They get defensive and there's fingers wagging in your face and threats of discrimination against them and an outcry from "their people". Yeah, it's best not to get in arguements with them.

At the end of the day, do what makes you feel right. I have no control over what other people do with their body, hair etc but if you know someone close to you and they have cornrows or have their hair in a ponytail, talk to them. That goes for guys with long soul patches, ungroomed beards and long side burns with no moustache or goatee.  Life is about progression and you can't progress in life with long hair.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Ya know...

I made my first blog and I'm proud of myself.




My name is Jordan but I mainly go by the name Stay Frosty (Anyone remember the show Reboot?  Bob, Dot, Enzo?  Yeah, that's where I got it from).

I created this blog because Twitter only allows 140 characters and I don't want to flood timelines with my thoughts and opinions.  Also Facebook editting system in notes is awful!  And I like writing, I created this so I can have the writing itch (didn't go to college for three years to create a blog, I can tell you that).  Writing/posting one thing a day is my goal.  I'm my own motivation.

I write what I feel, whether it's about current events or just things on the old noggin.  I like TV, movies, music, sports, sports, sports, women, granola bars (Cliff Bars >>>>) and other guy stuff that attracts males 21 and up.  Born and raised in Toronto, word.

Stick around, comment on something or else I don't know if I'm just talking to myself.

Stank ya very much...