Wednesday, September 26, 2012

WFMML: Obsessed, You Touched My Child

In this WFMML (Will Forever Make Me Laugh) piece, I will highlight the extremely laughable and awful movie starring the R&B goddess Beyonce Knowles and Stringer Bell sans a moustache, Obsessed.  The 2009 suspense thriller, also starring Ali Larter from Heroes (or Varsity Blues if you're older) and as the synopsis goes:

A successful asset manager, who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage. But when a temp worker starts stalking him, all the things he's worked so hard for are placed in jeopardy.

And what an episode of Jeopardy this garbage was.  With suspense movies, they are either really good or really bad.  Almost every afternoon TMN (The Movie Network) brings on some suspense movie starring some actress from a decade old TV show.  I knew this movie was gonna be bad but as soon as a saw Jerry O'Connell's name pop up in the opening credits, I knew it was gonna be something terrible.  Jerry O'Connell is poison to movies, everything he's been in starting in the new millinieum has been dreadful.  The trailer doesn't help out and the only reason to even watch this movie is for the ridiculously written dialogue and the wonderful way they are acted out. 

The creme de la creme though, has to be when Ali Larter's character (SPOILER) gets inside Sharon and Derek's (Bee and Stringer) house after telling the babysitter she's a "friend" of Sharon's and cradles with their child in hand when Sharon calls the house to check on the babysitter and Beyonce does her best soap opera actress on to sell the hell out of this line...

I can reply this video a good three, four times and it'll always make me laugh. 

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