Thursday, October 4, 2012

List: Top 5 Adam Sandler Movies

It amazes me that people still fork out money to see an Adam Sandler film.   You must be apart of one of the more delusional fanbases that is still around, next to Elvis Presley fans.  For someone to be making a career consisting of poop jokes and keeping Roy Scheinder employed.  You would think his act would run thin even after the deem rotten (3% by Rotten Tomatoes) crossdressing comedy Jack and Jill which looked horrible in the trailers, would barely make anything at the box office.  No, it made $25 million at the box office.  Why?  Why would you make that man money with a premise so obnoxiously dumb?

With Hotel Transylvania coming in number one in the box office earning $43 million this past weekend, ahead of Looper and breaking a record in September and the second best in Sandler's career.  I must be getting old because I remember when Sandler movies were worth spending a money for.  Just looking back at his imdb credits to make this list, it's shocking looking at some of the pieces of turd he's creating and seeing how much money they've made.  Click, $237m worldwide, You Don't Mess With The Zohan, $199m worldwide, 50 First Dates, $196m worldwide, none of these have made my list because I didn't enjoy any of them (there's so many things wrong with 50 First Dates I'll just link a Cracked article explaining why) I'm actually surprised at the years that have surpassed since I last enjoyed an Adam Sandler film.

5. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

When King of Queens hit syndicated television, I was hooked.  It was the same same formula as The Flintstones, Honeymooners, The Simpsons and many other comedies with a married couple, one being a fat funny male and his beautiful thin wife.  Kevin James is one of the last remaining funny fat guys.  I don't wanna see him slim in that hobby turned actual marketable thing, Here Comes The Pain.  This is his only real film, screw Hitch, that I appreciate and Sandler wasn't so bad either.

4. Punch-Drunk Love

The only Sandler movie that wasn't a comedy, is his best acting role.  It's a bit slow in the beginning but over all it's a movie I'd recommend just to show folks Sandler can act without voices or making dumb looking faces for a baby.

3. Big Daddy

I have to admit, it's been a long time since I've seen this movie but it would feel incomplete if I don't put this on the list.

2. Billy Madison

Sandler's first starring role, not counting Airheads, and it was truly a gem.  Premise was dumb, 27 year old going back to through all 12 grades again to prove he could run an empire, but it was 90's dumb, so it was box office gold.  It's not as quotable as number one on my list but it's always thought of when ranking Sandler's best. 

1. Happy Gilmore

"The Price is Wrong, bitch!"  I still see dudes online on NHL13 naming their player Happy Gilmore, it's truly one of those movies you would sit through and watch entirely.  It's the breakout movie that ages so well, well enough for Sports Science to test if the Happy swing is actually better than a regular golf swing.  True classic that Adam has been trying to make for the past decade that he's yet to accomplish.

And before I hear it from others lets look at the rest of his movies.

The Wedding Singer, decent.
The Waterboy, overrated.
Little Nicky, TBS did it with The Replacements and they did it with this.  And I hated it.
Mr. Deeds, no.
Anger Management, no.
The Longest Yard, go watch the original.
Spanglish, meh but mostly no.
Funny People, Apatow seriously needs to hire an editor, 2 1/2 hours really?
Grown Ups, Spade and Scheinder?  No.  No.  No.

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