Real Talk: Chael Sonnen

Chael Sonnen is lowkey trash.

I don't think there's been somebody so great at talking, hyping up an event where it's talked about on different media outlets who don't even cover the UFC and they end up falling on their face when it's time to show up.  Remember when Nick Diaz was talking about selling wolf tickets during the lead up to his fight with GSP?  Chael is a box office winner of selling wolf tickets.  Chael isn't that good, he's a tad bit better than average.  Yeah, he dominated Anderson Silva in their first fight.  Get over it, that happened three years ago.  Who won that fight again, oh yeah Silva.  The only footage they used for the commercial leading up to this fight was from that fight.  He hyped up that rematch with Silva after stepping over the lackluster opponents in that forever weak middleweight division and after attempted a pathetic spinning back fist, Silva ate his food.

I think people get easily blinded by someone's lack of achievements if they're good at the superficial things.  Chael, Tim Tebow, Cassie.  Chael is great at talking, Tebow has passion and Cassie is attractive.  The blinding truth?  Chael can't defend when caught in a submission (8 of his 12 losses are by submission).  Tebow can't fundamentally be a starting quarterback.  Cassie can't sing.

Do people try and bring said persons unimpressive resume because someone chooses to focus on the blinding facts?  All the time.  Skip Bayless has 100 reason why Tebow should be a starting quarterback for the fact that he has a winning record, completely ignoring his actually stats for these games.  Cassie has one album and that's her debut back in 2006, she shaved half her head, which started a trend from the popular to the those craving for attention and started boning Diddy.  She's appeared on red carpets, hosted events and appeared in ads but no music.  Chael is probably the best trash talker in UFC history, he knows how to bring in the audiences for PPV buys.  But Chael's caught so many L's.  I haven't seen someone talk their way into so many main event ass whoopings.  There's someone that's gonna bring up the "he was gonna save UFC 151 until Jones backdown like a bitch."  I've already gone through this before in the past, so I don't really want to touch upon it but it was everyone's fault.

Chael has talked so much.  So so so much.  A lot of it racist.  Let's not forget his comments on Brazilians when Silva-Sonnen II happened which caused the UFC to move the location, which originally was in Brazil.  Did you miss when he was on SportsCenter this week and asked the black female interviewer if he could touch her hair?  Yeah, that's kinda racist. He didn't have much to say about his white opponents like Brian Stann or Michael Bisping but thought he knew everything about Brazil based on his facts, from the internet.  I like trash talk as much as the next guy but talking your way into two title fights back to back?  Nah, b.  Nah!

I don't understand how people love to bring up the mistakes of someone successful but cater to the frauds while ignoring their veil of lackluster achievements.  Chael's a fraud, belee dat.  There's fibs and there's frauds, a fib is a lie that makes you like the story better.  When Jon Jones says: "Witness a man’s dream of becoming a champion be demolished."  I believe him.  He's beaten four former champions in a very impressive fashion at the young age of 25 and he's the current champion.  A fraud is a story that's inauthentic based on little or nothing.  Chael's beaten no one worth mentioning, yes he sure knows how to make interviews with Dan Le Betard and Michael Landsberg fun to watch but when you fail to back up this trash talk, I feel jilted.  And when I find out you had "high levels of testosterone" after your title fight, I feel duped.  And when I found out you plead guilty to money laundering, stealing money from people, I get angry.

So not only do I not care for you as a fighter, I don't care much for you as a person.  A person who says race-baits to get people to tune into a fight, a felon and a cheat.  You expect me to draw the currents on your lack of achivements to be entertained by your vocabulary, high intensity to bring in audiences and magnifying trash talk to watch you fail?  Nah b.  Nah!

(He was a pretty good coach on TUF, I'll admit that)

Thoughts on the Boston Bombing

First, I hope everyone pulls through and no more deaths occur during this time.  What happened on Monday was tragic and terrible and I hope they find the person or persons responsible for this.

Now, let's get to the real reason why I'm writing this: You guys have no chill.  It's been two days and already the conspiracy theorists are out and about, the terrible jokes have been chuckled at and the pictures of dismemberment has been shown about 30 times.  It's Wednesday.  And I'm not even talking about Twitter, I'm talking Facebook.  

It's hard to believe but for me to say something stupid on Facebook is pretty easy.  I have a general rule of thumb when it comes to posting anything on FB, 1) will it get my sister's attention where I'll have to hear about it at home, 2) don't say something stupid and 3) tone down on the cursing, I'll say shit but not bitch or any other curse words mainly because of rule 1.

The Boston bombing shows me people don't have any rules when it comes to posting anything FB, they just blurt out anything that will get them a reaction.  Opened ended status: "Ugh! Why does this have to happen to me?", "I'm heartbroken right now", "Oh you wanna talk shit you bitch!"  Just waiting for someone to answer: "You okay hun?  Wanna talk about it?"
 
Posting about a tragedy happening in another country while a tragedy is currently happening in North America is super petty.  Why SHOULD I care about the daily attacks that happen in a third world country, when something like someone planting bombs trying to blow off innocent people's kneecaps happen very rarely here?  Boston is not too far from here, it's a day trip to get there.  How long does it take to get to Islam?  I bet money this isn't the top story on Al-jazeera TV over there.  After breaking the news, this story comes on before they go to weather.  

Don't feel high and mighty when everyone else is talking about a news breaking tragedy in North America and you want to bring up what's going on in a country that you don't care about. Whether or not it's your homeland, it's pretty fuckin' petty when you do that shit.  Oh it's your birthday today?  It was my birthday, 7 months ago too, oh well *Kanye shrug*.  I think people feel some type of glory because nothing ever happens in Canada.  No attack, no type of domestic terrorism, no tragedy, nothing!  They feel like they're in an igloo.  They see what's happening from their screens and feel nothing will happen to them because they're in this igloo of Canada and no one thinks any type of threat will come to or from someone in an igloo.  Canadian STEREOTYPES!
 
I remember when Sandy Hook shooting happen, I was generally sad.  I hated to see harm happen to babies, that was one of the rare times I texted peopled with younger siblings or family members and told them "hug your young one a little tighter tonight iight?"  Within hours, there was skepticism on the validity of this story.  I should have known better that within hours, the conspiracy theory posts were gonna happen.  "What's that shadowy figure on the roof?"; "There's a teacher from the Sandy Hook shooting that was at the marathon!";  "Illuminati exposed!"  Really?
 
And hey man, take no shade from this.  I'm writing this as I was watching (really listened to) the Utah Jazz playoff dreams disappear.  But umm, yeah few points if you wanna skip all that.  

• Think before you press Post 
• A little warning before you post that pic of someone without their limbs
• Don't overshadow tragedy with another tragedy and...
• Don't say something stupid

Peace

 
 

The Sandlot Turns 20 Years Old

 
I don't really know when I first saw The Sandlot but I fell in love with it in my first viewing.  It's one of those movies that any time you come across it on television, you have to stop and watch it.  I should update that syndicated movies list now that I think of it.  I think the main reason why it's such a memorable movie is because it felt real.  There's a plethora of movies that came out in the 90's (my youth) but very few were set in the past (Sandlot was set in 1962).  A lot of movies that came out in the 90's I wouldn't even attempt to watch nowadays.  There was a lot of genre mixing, a lot of movies about involving kids given responsibilities at a young age (Blank Check, Little Big League), the use of animatronics and puppets that were flat out scary, kids getting lost (Babies too!), live action remakes of comic strips and cartoons, movies based on 2D video games (Mortal Kombat > everything else) and talking animals movies (if it isn't Homeward Bound, get it outta here).

Sandlot was about a bunch of kids having fun during the summer playing baseball.  It felt real, it felt like something you once experienced yourself and said, yeah me and my friends did that too.  Yeah, I tried to get the pretty girl's attention.  Yeah, we came up with creative ways to call each other names.  Yeah, we played baseball or another sport together and thought we were the pros.  That's what being 12 was about. Just a bunch of kids who were trying to enjoy their summer with their friends.  Isn't that what we all want, every summer?  It's one of the best movies to watch during any time of the year but mainly summer.  Now tell your little siblings/cousins or your own children to get off the laptop, iPad or Xbox and play outside!  Games all have autosave functions implemented so there's no worries.

Sidenote: I can really quote his movie forever and a lifetime.  Forever, for-ev-er...

 

Happy Easter: Let's Remember Fluff E. the Hip-Hop Bunny

One of my the many shows that were way too vulgar and adult for me to watch when I was young including was the Comedy Network's Buzz.  The Toronto based show was really guerrilla, hosts Daryn Jones and Mista Mo would hit the streets doing their brand of comedy to the unsuspected citizens of Toronto.
 
One of the staple characters was Fluff E. the Hip-Hop Bunny.  Buzz regular Jean-Paul, Country Mo Dee's hypeman donning the costume, Fluff E. would walk about the streets of Toronto just causing havoc or talking straight filth to women.  And since it's Easter, why not remind people of Fluff E. and Buzz.  There's more Fluff E. but I just can't post it (blogger's YouTube connection does that sometimes).  A simple YT search should take you to more Fluff E.

Nick Offerman Break Dances on Fallon

 
Parks and Recreation is the best comedy on television today, that's almost by default because ABC fucks around with the scheduling of Happy Endings too much.  Nick Offerman, who plays Ron Swanson on P&R, is slowly becoming one of my favourite people because there's so many layers of mystery to this man that gets revealed with every interview he does.  I can't wait till he reveals he's really a butterfly from a mystical world who likes scotch, smokes weed and can make a rowboat.

Another layer has been revealed late last night on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Nick used to break dance.  His name was Tick Tock, along with his break dancing cousin, Flip Flop.  It's quite clear that he hasn't lost any of his break dancing skill.  Pop locking starts at the 2:40, bask in the glory that rivals the subway scene from Beat Street.

FYI, Happy Endings is probably going to get cancelled and the last episodes are on tonight on ABC.  Even if you've never seen an episode, could you please DVR it or leave the TV on ABC at 8:00?  If you're going clubbing, you're not leaving until 10:00 so you have no excuse accept you want to hurt my feelings.  This show needs all the ratings it can get, the last ditch effort to save it starts at 8 pm EST tonight. 

Please watch.

The Pitch For An Axe Fight In Bullet To The Head

INT. BOARDROOM WITH NOTHING BUT EMPTY CANS OF REDBULL ACROSS THE FLOOR WITH POSTERS OF A LAMBORGHINI DIABLO ON THE WALL.  BROSEF IS SITTING AT HIS LAPTOP READING JOSE CANSECO'S TWITTER PAGE.  TONY BROMO WALKS IN.

TONY BROMO: Bro, I was thinking about a new fight scene for Bullet To The Head.

BROSEF: Talking to me brother.

BROMO FLIPS THE CHAIR BACKWARDS AND SITS, WHILE SIPPING HIS REDBULL.

BROMO: There should be an axe fight.  I'm talking something out of Game of Thrones.  Just old school Sly going mono e mono with Conan.

BROSEF: Sounds awesome.  What's Game of Thrones?

BROMO: The HBO show based on the books by George R.R. Martin's epic tale of the war between different families in medival-like times trying to hold ground of Westeros.

BROSEF: Nah, don't read books.  Threw out my Lance Armstrong books after that Oprah interview.

BROMO: Anyways, there should be an axe fight between Rambo and Conan.  Like vikings.  Think of this as our tribute to the eternal bro, Johnny Drama.  He was forever known for his Viking Quest show, I mean we only saw him in the costume.  Let's do this for Drama.

BROSEF: Sounds legit put it in.

BROSEF & BROMO IN UNISON: Victory!

BROSEF CRUSHES RED BULL, STEPS OVER TWO GIRLS MAKING OUT ON THE FLOOR AND SNORTS A LINE OF COCAINE BEFORE EXITING.

I've seen a lot of ridiculous things in action movies, especially straight to DVD action films and
Bollywood movies but to have an axe fight.  In a warehouse.  In a 2013.  That's just f*ckin'
stupid.  Axes are short, like airplane arm rest short.  So that fact that these huge* muscular guys
are warranted to have a serious fight with short sticks with a hunk of metal at the end of it is laughable.  Check the this short clip featuring Sylvester's new face and Jason Momoa.

* -- The biggest shock I found out was that Sly was only 5'9.  I knew Van Damme was short but Sly too?  Everything is a lie.

Forever LOL: Bloopers

Decided to change the name from WFMML to Forever LOL, it's easier to say and less explanation for him.  But Forever LOL does sound like a forum page for disgruntled Forever 21 employees and customers, hey more hits to the blog so I can't complain.

If there's one thing that will make me laugh no matter what, it's bloopers.  No matter what it is for whether it's for TV show, movie, infomercials or the news.  If somebody is falling or messing up their lines or giving a dumb answer to a question, I will forever find enjoyment in people's failures.  Like the auditions for American Idol.

Rant: Waiting on Something

Ever feel uninspired?  Like you don't want to do anything?  Not get up from the couch or your computer desk?  You plan on working out and instead you just sit and decide to pick another day and do nothing that day.  You want to do something but have no inspiration to do it?  One of the five things I hate is waiting (the other four have to do with rice cakes, Dwight Howard and wack females, they're on there twice) and right now I'm waiting on an answer from two potential internships in major I spent three years in school trying o get into.  Internships cause nobody just hires you.  Haven't heard anything in the last three days and aside from watching movies (Killing Them Softly with Brad Pitt is pretty good btw) I've done nothing.  I should be writing to keep in the zone and keep the creative juices flowing but this is the first thing I've written in three days.  But it really feels like I haven't written in a month maybe longer.  That ever happen to you?  You do something one day and the following days are nothing but mediocrity and you feel like it's been a life time since that last significant thing you did.  I've literally done nothing but looking at my Blackberry waiting for that red flash, indicating an email has been sent, hoping and wishing on a reply back from the many many emails I've sent out.  Most days it's automatic replies telling me they received it and it's on file and not in a virtual pile.  They say it isn't but I know it really is.

No motivation, just have to pick myself up from my proverbial slumber I'm in.  Not even shedding a tear.  Learned a while ago to turn that vulnerable state into anger and rage then closing it in, hiding it.  Like hands covering the light from a turned on flashlight, consealing all the light until it's dark.  Consider this writing here the light peaking through.  At times I feel like Howard Hughes, watching the world go by, doing nothing about it.  Physically fine, just watching others live through Twitter, Facebook, TV etc.  Don't even share what I find interesting, no news articles, no funny retweets, just off the grid while constantly keeping an eye on it.  Ain't got no job, ain't got no bitch, ain't go no motivation to inspire myself, just waiting on the next thing, minute by minute, hour by hour.  Waiting, just waiting on something.

Gracie Breakdown: UFC on FX 7, Guillotine Counters

Because FX Canada likes to air The Ultimate Fighter -- that nobody watched, last one had the lowest ratings -- and not the live event UFC on FX 7, I missed the seeing Michael Bisping being knocked back down to reality that he's not that good.  Plus I'm not going to stream something that I can watch for free (bandwidth ain't cheap!), I'd rather wait for whatever laws or contracts FX Canada has to sign to air something advertised on the FX nework.  Canada can be dumb when it comes to airing content sometimes, like when a movie is advertised on a US network and on the scheduled time, there's a Canadian blackout and something else is aired.  Yeah stupid.

In this Gracie Breakdown, they got a new intro and some editting tricks.  Rener and his guest (and fiance) Eve Torres former WWE diva breakdown counters to the guillotine choke showcased in the Gonzaga and Rothwell fight.  He didn't mention it but I want that Gracie shirt.  Rener hook ya boy up with some gear.

Two Gracies, One Bundy and A Punk

Sounds like 90's sitcom on ABC that airs on Thursdays at 9:30 about a father and son who practise jiu jitsu and run a gym, dealing with the day to day tasks of owning a gym.  The younger Gracie, Rener is trying to find love in San Diego and his best friends are a former shoe salesman and the other is a straight edge wannabe wrestler.  And it'd be based on a true story because every is true.  Except Ed O'Neil being a shoe salesman, he's retired and married to a semi-crazy sexy Columbian woman whose half his age and has a son who may or may not be gay but definitely thinks he's older then he really is.  And is the worst.

Yeah I'm just filling up space.  The picture is awesome enough.

Something Inspirational: Honesty Among Friends

“Truth never damages a cause that is just.”  - Gandhi

I would much prefer friends to be honest with me.  Don't make me believe in a lie and let me believe that lie is a fact.  Because the last thing you want to do is cook with the acknowledgement that you're good and you end up getting burned.  Don't tell me I'm a great cook and I make something and you're on the toilet for the next half an hour.  Don't tell me I can draw and you got me standing in art galleries beside my amateur art like Pam in The Office.  Don't tell me I can sing and have my ass waiting in line when American Idol rolls into town for x amount of hours just so I can see Randy and Mariah hide their laughter as I'm singing "Over The Rainbow".

American Idol hasn't been relevant in years, I can't name the last winner or even a song from anyone not named Carrie Underwood, the bread winner in her marriage or Kelly Clarkson, whose making anthems for yoga moms.  The only reason for anyone to check out Idol is to see the people whose friends lied to them and said they can sing.  Cheering for them to go be on Idol cause they think they're Whitney during drunk karoake nights.  Tell 'em they can't sing.  If you don't want to sound rude, tell them they are not very good.  If they ask for you're honest opinion, tell 'em your opinion is that they can't sing and it isn't a good idea for them to be on TV looking like a fool.

I heard about this guy from my old high school who posted a video of him singing "Find Your Love" by Drake and throughout the comments his friends are lying to him and making him believe that he can sing.  Nope.  Son can't sing.  The vocals were basura and this little nigglet had the audacity to use a photo of himself with no shirt, no abs and no dignity.  Oh I won't further the embarassment by telling his name but you probably know him.  Stop the madness and tell him the truth.  Sometimes the lie is easier to understand than the truth.  Well it's pretty easy for me to say, put on a shirt and never sing again unless you can actually sing.

But I would like to thank those people who lied to those contestants who auditioned on American Idol, and FAILED because you made me laugh. The two things that will make anyone laugh is people falling and terrible singing.  Friends should be honest with each other, it creates a stronger friendship and a better understanding of each other.  Telling the truth is one of the first things that determine if someone is a friend or not.  But you can lie to them once in a while but don't let that lie being something that will get them on TV and become a joke to the world wide web.  Like these fools, here's a compliation of some failures from Idol.  Oh and I can watch these for hours.  Idol, The X Factor and Britian's Got Talent.  Terrible singing + accents?  That's some front row seat action.  Belee dat!

The Epitome of Female Funny

Tina, smart funny.  Amy, silly funny.

And still sexy.

Pick a side ladies because you can't be both.

Because It's Been Stuck In My Head...

I'm going to post "Icon" by dubstep producer Benga and songstress Bebe Black. 

Discovered this will I was on my forever long trek for new music.  Found a list of female British singers I should know about and since I never heard of any of them, I thought I should know about it.  Found the list in December, perfect time for new music especially with the barrage of year end lists that were being formulated.  This song was the first to really grab me and I'm not really big on dubstep, there's just something about Bebe's voice.   I've played this four times just writing this.

Yeah I just don't get dubstep, the drops all that shit I don't get.  If I can bop my head to it and has a catchy hook, I'll rock with it.  Don't get snobbish with me, dubstep purists.

Real Talk: Goku



For those who don't understand all of my vernacular used in this document, I will provide a definition for a particular word that many may not be familiar with.

Fade [fād]
noun

1. To beat up, or fight, a promise to put your hands on somebody.
2. The act of wanting to fight.

Goku had two motifs in life: To fight and to eat. 

That's it.  Besides that he literally did nothing else.  He barely was there in his son's lives, he was either out collecting dragonballs, training just because or going to Namek, for a few years.

"Hey ma, watch Gohan.  Me and my lil bald nigga are gonna go out searchin' for some dragonballs.  Make sure there's food on the table when I get back.  Iight?  Peace."

Seriously what the fuck did Goku do?  I remember an episode (filler episode) where him and Piccolo go and get their driver's license.  Goku didn't want no job!  He just wanted to hang with his friends, surf on his cloud and eat gigantic bowls of rice.  And have sex.  Chi-Chi did nothing but yell at her sons and birth them kids.  She kept them kids focused on school and Goku was focused on whatever evil force lurking to take over Earth.  Which was gonna end up getting destroyed anyways because that's what aliens that wanted to take over planets did. 

And he was the best in the world, so you couldn't say an ill word about him.  He was MJ, he was Gretkzy, he was Bo Jackson.  Goku knows it and you knew it, he was the best ever.  Sure he'd be down and out, AFTER giving his opponents the fade, but they just threw him into the Medical Machine or made him pop a senzu bean (WOO!) and he was back like he never left.  He was Adrian Peterson returning from knee surgery, Lemieux coming back from cancer, Tyson after his jail sentence.  He was the best to do it.  Not only was he the best but he was the first to exceed that next level.  Aside from Super Saiyan 2 which Gohan achieved, he was the first for ever other SSJ form and we all know the Prince of all Saiyans, Vegeta, was jelly because of this.  Vegeta was Karl Malone in '97 and '98, forever catching the fade never getting one against the greatest of all time.  NO ONE got the short end of the stick more than Vegeta, maybe Yamcha and Tien but c'mon, how far would have Yamcha and Tien gone?  They were human, 'Geta and Goku were Saiyans, just sayin. 

Goku was in chill mode when he wasn't saving the Earth.  Forever in off-season, never knowing when the season would start again.  Eating plates and scrappin' aliens, he should have that tattooed on his lower back somewhere.

And he's the greatest anime character of all time.

I Hate Me Some World Juniors

1.  Happy New Year.
2.  I may not watch it religiously but I do know the game of hockey.

But why I don't watch the World Junior Hockey Championships it's because there's nothing worse than millions people tuning in for the first time to see junior hockey players and pointing their fingers down at 16-20 year olds trying to get jobs.  That's basically what the World Juniors are.  Tryouts for pro hockey teams.  They're interns.  Some may have already been selected predetermined by hockey clubs but some haven't.  These kids, because that's what they are, are getting a few hundred bucks every week for food, gas money etc., living in the homes of people that have taken them in.  But like people love to say, you have to grow up sometime and what better way then waking up turning to TSN and Bob McKenzie and the analysts criticizing you because you lost, again.  Bad enough you already heard it from the grown men yelling and screaming out you from the stands.

Now being from Canada and the national sport being hockey, they -- Canadian media -- really think they're going to win every single f*cking year and the only teams they really want is the US.  Totally neglecting the other countries.  You can't have that mentality.  Just because this sport is part of your heritage doesn't equal championships in said sport.  Maybe, the other teams from the other countries are better than yours, maybe they showed more heart and out-hustled the kids in the red and white.  Ever have that thought?  Maybe because the other big sports media down south has this on the back pages of the newspaper and a little blurb on SportsCentre's ticker.  

But how about the potential jobs of these kids.  Hey if they win, the praise, accolades, money and 'ships are in their future, more teams take a closer look at those players that were atop the score sheets.  But if they lose?  It's back to juniors for them with that bad game circled, their stock goes down rapidly and lose a chance at a job they've been trying to get for years. Some may stay in the juniors and try again the following year but sometimes you have to find something else outside of their field just to make a living.  Just like actual people in life without pads.

If you love the game of hockey and are missing your NHL because the season has been in a lockout now for 111 days then enjoy the World Juniors.  Watch the game, no matter what time it may come on* and enjoy it.  Whether it's win, lose or draw, just remember no one can predict what happens to these juniors when the spotlight on them is dim, there's no need to point fingers and talk down to them.  They're not dogs, they're kids who trying to get jobs.

*Sorry not a soccer fan, I like my sports at 1 pm when I'm wide awake and with a filled stomach.